Quitting Addiction: Identify the Needs Your Addiction Fills

We have addictions, unhealthy habits, because we’re filling needs. I eat sugar to feel loved!

If we want to quit an addiction, we first need to understand that addictions aren’t random. They don’t just descend on us by accident. We have them for a reason (or three).

One of the things I do in life is help people create habits, meditation habits, and I realized pretty quickly that habits and addictions are basically the same thing. Only, a habit is something we like (we view as healthy), and an addiction is something we don’t like (we view as unhealthy). All habits give us things, which is why we do them. So, if you’re working with a habit you’d like to stop, like my sugar addiction, one of the things to think about is what do you get from your habit?

Like for me, yes, I get a cookie (Yay!), and I also get an emotional satisfaction, of feeling loved. Or it could also be a physical satisfaction or a mental satisfaction. But there’s something I’m getting when I follow through with that addiction, when I eat the cookie. There’s something that I get from that action.

Understand that the reason that you have this addiction, the reason you keep doing this thing, is to get that feeling, to be in that state; to have that mental, emotional, physical experience. If you’re trying to stop that addiction, or change that addiction, or reduce that addiction, one of the things you need to do is figure out how can you give yourself that state, that mental, emotional, physical ‘whatever it is’ in a healthy way.

That’s really important to feel into. Imagine you’re doing your addiction. What’s the feeling you get? Is it a physical sensation? An emotional sensation? A mental high? What is it? It might be all those things!

In my case it’s feeling loved. It’s feeling hugged. It’s feeling warm and beautiful inside. How can I give myself that state in a different way?
Because if I just stop eating sugar, if you just stop doing whatever it is you’re doing, that’s fine. I can not eat the cookie, but I’m still going to crave that feeling. Every time I stop sugar, if I’m not replacing it with that thing, I will go through this cycle over and over and over and over… It’s never ending. Until I figure out what the replacement is, and I do that. Maybe I go hug my husband, or I find a dog to love. Something that gives me this feeling of love, and joy, and comfort, and warmth, and hug, and all of these things.

This is the key to changing your addiction, to stopping your addiction:
First, figure out what it’s giving you. What feeling or state are you getting from it?
Then, what can you replace it with that gives you that same state, that’s healthy?
Do that.
Go hug someone.
Make that a habit.

I hope that helps.

Rock Your Body: 5min Guided Meditation

(5min47sec) This simple movement practice can be done standing or sitting. Once you learn the basic meditation, you can practice it for as long or short a time as you like. This is the same concept as Where’s My Center, only simpler, and they can be used interchangeably as basic movement practices.

Note that you are welcome to download and share this audio file as many times as you like, provided you do so in it’s entirety, and it is used for personal or educational uses only (no commercial uses).

Awakening Thru Yoga 3: Expanding Subtle Energies

We’re going to work with a more subtle awareness and bring our attention to the energies flowing through us.

Expansiveness and flow increase when we invite a higher volume of subtle energy into our bodies. Experience this subtle power in a simple round of Sun Salutations, awakening deeper to the energies that flow through you in every moment.

Awakening Thru Yoga 2: Shoulder & Hip Alignment

Awakening is the goal, awareness is the process, yoga is a tool…

How we habitually align our shoulders and hips has profound ramifications for overall health. Slouching forward with our shoulders for hours everyday puts a lot of strain on our neck and upper back, and overtime can result in chronic pain up and down the chain.

Becoming aware of how we move, how we align ourselves as we sit, stand, walk, sleep, etc. helps us increase awareness of our habits… The first step to change.

In this short practice, we dive deeper, guiding you through noticing your current alignment as well how to move towards your perfect alignment in every pose.

Enjoy! Elena

Melting into Awakening

When I have a peak spiritual experience, it’s challenging to not try to recreate it. I can’t cross the same river twice, so it never works.

I know that by now, and yet that grasping part is still here! My next meditation was all about holding that part, supporting it, and letting it relax into it’s flip side, the drive to open and let what ever is here be here. I did a 3 hour meditation where not much happened. I noticed that the more I could support that part, the more I relaxed into nothing spectacular happening… incremental changes happened. I melted into a deeper state that has lasted since then.

Beautiful.

Insomnia Melting into Sleep

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKOexGhiEdc&t

Frustrated with your attempts to cure your insomnia with meditation? I realized that the frustration itself was keeping me awake! I also realized that if I could relax into being just 10% calmer (versus frustrated the I still wasn’t asleep!), that I’d sink 10% deeper, then 10% more… Eventually, I was 30% closer… Melting slowly. Melting slowly to sleep. If nothing else, melting, relaxing is a restful practice.

Awakening thru Yoga 1: Deep Core Alignment

Hello Beautiful Souls, I’m on a pilgrimage in Cathar Country, southern France for three months, and I’ve promised myself to post a yoga video every week while I’m here.

So here we go… a short practice to start us off… a single round of Sun Salutations focusing on lifting and aligning the body from arches to crown – from the inside – using gentle muscle contraction. This practice gives you a nice way to play with alignment on and off the mat. May it give you something new to play with throughout your day.

Note, you need basic familiarity with yoga in order to follow this practice. I’m assuming that you know how to do Sun Salutations already (downward dog, plank, cobra, etc.). Also, apologies for the need to turn your volume way up. I’ve got new sound equipment that worked better during the sound checks than the full recording. Heh. I’ve got some trouble shooting to do.

Happy My 51st Birthday!,
Elena
5 January, 2024
Quillan, France

Group Practice Helps Personal Practice

Things feel pretty chaotic to me, and practicing meditation would help. But I’m having a hard time motivating myself to sit for more than a few minutes. (Sit, stand, walk, move, whatever.) I just knocked off balance, and if I’d been practicing regularly, even for 10 minutes a day, I would have been able to stay more centered. Lesson re-learned: when things are getting hairy, pay attention to that inner voice that says, “You need to start meditating a bit everyday!” I didn’t, and now I’m regretting it. No time like the present to heed my own advice!

So, how to get motivated to sit in this off-centered state?

Group practice to the rescue! I know that if I practice with others, it’ll motivate me to do my own. I’m going to organize a group practice, of people who already know how to meditate, to come and do it together. No guidance, it’s simply bring your own practice (BYOP : ) and we do them in the same space.

The synergy is beautiful. When I’ve done this in the past, it’s been magical.

Just the idea of this is helping me sit, and we haven’t even started yet!

If this is you, get a few friends together who know how, and meditate. Simple. Even if it’s just once, it can jump start your current practice, and off you go. And if there ever was a good time to practice, it’s now!

Enjoy!

Practice Giving and Receiving

As social animals, giving and receiving are a daily part of life. We need each other for mental, emotional and physical support – on a daily basis, and those needs can sometimes be challenging to have and support. Often times we develop habits where one is easier than the other. Many of us are better at giving and others are better at receiving. It’s not so often that we feel equally comfortable with both. And that can change depending on the people we’re with and situations we’re in. Sometimes it just feels easier to do one and not the other.

So, in these crazy times, it feels like a good idea to be able to support ourselves to do both. To be comfortable with giving and receiving.

In August at our monthly online Community Meditation gathering the theme was “Re-membering the Flow of Giving and Receiving,” and this lovely meditation practice evolved from our mutual contributions.

One beautiful soul offered the idea that breath itself is a natural flow of giving and receiving… of air, energy (prana), etc.. And another offered the soothing method of Thich Nhat Hann – breathing in to receive and out to give, à la “Breathing in Peace. Breathing out Calm.”

Guided Meditation Practice: Giving and Receiving (8min)

You’re welcome to listen to, download and share this practice as often as you like only for non-commercial use.

Enjoy!

Field of Vision x2

Field of Vision is a practice I was first taught by a dear friend who practices Tibetan Buddhism. I’ve simplified it a bit and turned it into a mindfulness practice.

I adore this practice. If you like eyes open practices, or want to experience one this is a great one to play with. And you’re welcome to do just that, play with it and make it your own.

8 minute version:

This is an 8-minute version which includes a fuller explanation of the practice. Start here if you want to have more guidance or suggestions for how to do it.

5 minute version:

And here is a shorter 5-minute version. Use this one if you prefer less guidance or you simply want a quicker practice.

Right click on the players (the grey bars) and choose download to download them onto your device(s). As always, you’re welcome to download, use and share these as often as you like for non-commercial use.

Enjoy!