We have addictions, unhealthy habits, because we’re filling needs. I eat sugar to feel loved!
If we want to quit an addiction, we first need to understand that addictions aren’t random. They don’t just descend on us by accident. We have them for a reason (or three).
One of the things I do in life is help people create habits, meditation habits, and I realized pretty quickly that habits and addictions are basically the same thing. Only, a habit is something we like (we view as healthy), and an addiction is something we don’t like (we view as unhealthy). All habits give us things, which is why we do them. So, if you’re working with a habit you’d like to stop, like my sugar addiction, one of the things to think about is what do you get from your habit?
Like for me, yes, I get a cookie (Yay!), and I also get an emotional satisfaction, of feeling loved. Or it could also be a physical satisfaction or a mental satisfaction. But there’s something I’m getting when I follow through with that addiction, when I eat the cookie. There’s something that I get from that action.
Understand that the reason that you have this addiction, the reason you keep doing this thing, is to get that feeling, to be in that state; to have that mental, emotional, physical experience. If you’re trying to stop that addiction, or change that addiction, or reduce that addiction, one of the things you need to do is figure out how can you give yourself that state, that mental, emotional, physical ‘whatever it is’ in a healthy way.
That’s really important to feel into. Imagine you’re doing your addiction. What’s the feeling you get? Is it a physical sensation? An emotional sensation? A mental high? What is it? It might be all those things!
In my case it’s feeling loved. It’s feeling hugged. It’s feeling warm and beautiful inside. How can I give myself that state in a different way?
Because if I just stop eating sugar, if you just stop doing whatever it is you’re doing, that’s fine. I can not eat the cookie, but I’m still going to crave that feeling. Every time I stop sugar, if I’m not replacing it with that thing, I will go through this cycle over and over and over and over… It’s never ending. Until I figure out what the replacement is, and I do that. Maybe I go hug my husband, or I find a dog to love. Something that gives me this feeling of love, and joy, and comfort, and warmth, and hug, and all of these things.
This is the key to changing your addiction, to stopping your addiction:
First, figure out what it’s giving you. What feeling or state are you getting from it?
Then, what can you replace it with that gives you that same state, that’s healthy?
Do that.
Go hug someone.
Make that a habit.
I hope that helps.
