Hello Beautiful Souls,

How many times have you thought you’d healed something only to have it ’come back’?! Argh!
I’ve certainly thought, “This again! How can that be?! I thought I was done with this!!!”

And, maybe, like me, you thought you just hadn’t gotten down to the roots of it yet…
Well, yes. And no.

In my experience, even when we’ve gotten to the core, we’re working with the roots of the issue, though we can clear the emotions around it that overwhelm us – reducing the intensity of the anger or shame for instance – we never get rid of our ability to react. The intensity of emotion is less, but the pattern is still accessible.

We never get rid of the pattern.
What we do is open up access to new patterns.
To responding in different ways.

The good news is that as we release the overwhelming emotions, we stop going on autopilot when similar situations arise.

Now we’re open to using our abilities in different ways, in ways that are healthier.
Instead of shouting in anger, we can use that energy to make changes, improve the situation in ways that are healthy for ourselves and those around us. MUCH nicer than yelling!

Instead of hiding in shame, tears running down our face (or constricted behind our eyelids), we can use that internal energy to feel into what we really want, our own truth and begin to action that in healthy ways. Also, much nicer for self and other.

None of this is overnight.

First, we have to feel safe enough in our lives to face the emotions. We need to have created lives where we aren’t in the same danger (or perceived danger) as we were when we first created these defensive responses.

Second, we need to be taking responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and actions – to have realized that just as we’re responsible for them we can also change them.

Third, we need to feel ready to face these feelings and a safe space to do it in. And often, if we’re talking roots, deep issues, it’s really helpful to have someone else there to reassure our systems that we are safe.
And then we have to cultivate new habits, new abilities, new ways of being for when those moments arrive that remind our systems of the original circumstances.

Yes, it takes a fair amount of work. And it’s a heck of a lot better than being angry or full of shame all the time!
Pain sucks.
Healing helps us release it and refill with pleasure and joy.
Much nicer.
And well worth the effort.