There’s an old Chinese proverb

…that goes something like: the things you despise in your enemies are the things you despise yourself.
Or, the things you most dislike about others are the things that you most dislike about yourself.
In other words, “Hello, projection.”

A lovely soul of 80 years asked me last week if felt like it was ever too late to start a relationship?

My answer was surprising perhaps.
An unequivocal, “Yes!”

And perhaps, less surprising, was my reasoning, “Once we’re dead.”
At that point I imagine we go back to being whatever we are when we’re not separate selves…
Probably relationships (and marathons) are not a thing when we’re not in material bodies and are more clear about being One. So, once we’re disembodied, now it’s too late.

But before that?
Well, now my answer is what you’d expect me to say, except that my reasoning for that has been delightfully surprising my friends for years. It goes a little something like this…

At the oh, so tender age of 43, I was running along a tree lined park high up in urban hills of Hong Kong, and a thought occurred to me, “I wonder if I could run a second marathon and beat my time? I wonder if I could cut 20 minutes off my time and run it in less than 5h30 minutes?!” So far so good.

What happened next literally stopped me in my tracks. The thought that innocently followed was, “Oh, no. I’m too old to run a marathon. All that training, I’ll be way too old in a year to run that far.”

Instantly, followed by, “What the…?!!!”
I still remember stopping mid-stride, and thinking, “How rediculous! Where the hell did that idea even come from?!”
I mean here I am running! I’m doing the thing that some part of me has decided I won’t be able to do a year from now because I’ll be to old… against all evidence to the contrary. I’m literally doing it! And had been for years! “What the hell is this?”

I was shocked.

“If at 43 I’m already deciding that at 44 I’m not going to be able to run, this needs to be nipped in the bud!”
I sifted through my thoughts about getting old and realized that what the whole idea rested on for me was death at 90. This meant that everything could be tracked back from there… middle age at 45! and everything downhill after that.
Or, apparently for me, at 44. As usual, I was getting an early start. Great.

I started running again to contemplate further. This was a perfect thought stream to run with.
“Ok, what if I just move the goal post, the end date? If all of my pre-concieved ideas are about kicking the bucket at 90, why not decide to croak at 100 instead? Or, oh! how about 150?!!“

150! That would be fun! That would stretch the whole thing out, move all of the goal posts and challange all of those pesky notions of middle age and eventual decrepitude. I started doing the math… middle age at 75. 75! I had 33 more years! Sweet! I could deinitely run another marathon! Yay!

“Holy cow. 125!!!
That’s nuts!

At 43, I’m the equivalant of… a teenager! Ha!
This is great!”

This put an even bigger spring in my step. I decided to do it. I decided that I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. I decided to change my internalized belief from pushing up daisy at 90 to popping my clogs at 250. “Why not?”

This was quite the run. It started out as a run-of-the-mill jog and had taken me from an early decline to a long life span. In fact this one run has altered the course of my life forever. Perhaps for the following 207 years!

Ok, ok, I can hear your mind saying, “That’s a nice story, Elena, and I am much more reasonable than you are and this will not work for me. I will not lie to myself and try to believe that I’m going to live to some ridiculous age. This won’t work. I strive for authenticity and this is just silly. Cute. And, no.”

…and instead of letting that become my reality, I would notice that and think, “Really? Why am I assuming that? What if I do a bit of gentle movements right now?” Ahhhh. And voila, stiffness reduced. I might have to do those movements quite a bit over the following days, or even months, and the difference is now I know that I can do something about it. I’m no longer a victim of these ludicrous ideas.

The difference is staggering. It has really changed my life.
And, of course, it’s not just fitness. It’s having time and capacity to do everything.
It’s removing age as a limiting factor.
Speed isn’t needed when I have 250 years. I’ve got time.

I’ve got time to improve my health, my fitness, my relationships, my business, my running times, my singing (thank goodness!), and anything else I want to do.

I ran two marathons since this delightful run in the park. I haven’t gone sub 5 hours 30 yet (arghhhh!!), but I have time if I ever want to do it again.

Regardless of how old I actually live.
I might die tomorrow, or a minute from now.
And, so the answer to “Is it too late?” is now and forever more (until I depart), “Go for it.”