Hello Beautiful Souls.

Resistance.
Resistance is one of those things we all have, whether we like it or not.

It doesn’t feel great, and gets in the way of doing things in life, so we vilify it. The general idea is that we need to get rid of it, and if we don’t we’re doomed to have it forever, because ‘resistance persists.’

But why is resistance here in the first place?
Maybe I’m resisting walking up stairs, because I’m afraid of falling down. We might feel like it’s stupid thing to resist this, but here’s the thing: your resistance protecting you.

This may seem a little crazy, so let’s think about this for a second. Why would we resist walking upstairs? Why is this fear here at all?

Maybe when I was a little kid, I was walking upstairs and I fell down and I had a really big, very scary fall. Ever after I resist walking upstairs. Why? Because I’m protecting myself from that dangerous situation. I know from personal experience, from a banged up body, even broken bones, that walking upstairs is not safe, so, now I have this layer of resistance to walking upstairs.

Here’s the key take-away: your resistance isn’t some stupid or random thing you do. It’s actually part of a trauma, and it’s here to protect you. Your resistance is keeping you safe from what you know has been a dangerous situation.

Resistance isn’t random. It’s part of the package. We can think of resistance like the outer layer of an onion, the outer layer of trauma.

If you want to get rid of your resistance, you need to treat it like healing trauma. First of all, you need to feel really safe. You need to feel safer than you felt when you created it, when you fell.

What do I mean by that? I mean, you’re going to continue to protect yourself from danger, you’re going to keep resisting danger, until you feel safe from that danger.

After all, you weren’t feeling safe when it happened originally, so do you feel safe enough now?

How to achieve the level of safety needed to heal resistance?

Your feeling of safety needs to feel bigger, stronger than your feeling of resistance.
I like to think of safety like a container… my safety container needs to be bigger than the resistance. I want my safety to feel big enough that the resistance can rest inside of it, like my safety can hold the resistance in it’s arms. The safety becomes a nest for the resistance to rest in.

Being in a safe space physically, mentally and emotionally is key.
Being by yourself out in nature or in your bedroom may feel safe enough if the original trauma was fairly small. If not, being with a trusted friend or healer who can hold space can be really helpful. You can create a safer container together, a more secure nest to rest in. This is why really scary traumas benefit from working with someone else – of course, whom you trust.

How to heal the resistance?

Healing the resistance is just like healing the layers underneath…

First create a physical and mentally-emotionally safe space. Your safety nest.
Then, invite the resistance to be here. When I’m working alone, I like to simply imagine whatever I’m resistant to, like walking up stairs. Start feeling the resistance, feeling the fear of walking up stairs.
As you start feeling the fear of walking up stairs your system will check, “Am I safe enough to feel into this now?”
If not, you won’t get very far, and it’s best to stop here. Trust your self. If you’re not ready, this won’t help.
If yes, the feeling of fear will break out of it’s shell and intensify. It will spread it’s wings and let you feel just how big it is.
Keep containing it, staying bigger than the fear, and eventually, the fear will dissipate.
If you stay even longer, other layers of the onion, the underlying layers of trauma will surface, and you can lean into those as well using the same steps.

It’s worth repeating that I do this a lot for myself, and if at any point I don’t feel safe enough, if the fear feels bigger than me and my safety nest, I stop immediately. I resource myself, calm down if necessary, and go find a friend or healer to help.

The key takeaway here is that resistance actually here to help you.
It’s protecting you from something.

If you treat it like it’s not important, like it’s silly and it should just go away, you’re going to have a really hard time healing it. Resistance needs your love and care just as much as your trauma, and if you want it to go away then create safety. Get bigger than your resistance. Create a beautiful container so that your resistance can break out of it’s shell, spread it’s wings, share it’s wisdom and fly away away from the nest.

Your resistance is not your enemy.
It’s your wisdom cloaked in feathers of protective fear.
Honor it, and it will honor you.

I hope that helps,
Eléna