Wednesday Wellness

Embodied Breath Practice

(14 minute Meditation Practice)

This meditation is adapted a Will Johnson practice he calls The Breath of the Unfolding Fern. You can listen to the entire Urban Retreat, and enjoy his magnificent teachings here: https://www.embodiment.net/audios. As he says, it is a very “deeply body-oriented approach to sitting meditation.” I love it.

Here are the instructions for the Embodied Breath Practice:

  1. Get into a comfortable position, sitting or standing. You’ll want to be able to move your entire spine and pelvis, so if you’re sitting, I suggest sitting on the front edge of your chair or sitting up versus leaning back.
  2. Close your eyes or lower your eyes with your eyelids mostly closed. Allow your eyes to soften.
  3. Bring your attention to your breath and begin noticing the qualities of your breath. Be a curious. Observe like a friendly scientist seeing something for the first time… Notice the characteristics. You might notice how deep or shallow, how fast or slow your breath is. You might notice the noises that your body makes as you breathe. You might notice the movements of your body as inhale and exhale.
  4. When your mind wanders, and you notice that you’ve wandered away, celebrate that moment. You’ve just become aware of yourself. Wonderful.
  5. Then gently bring your attention back to your breath. Again and again throughout the practice.
  6. As you inhale, your intercostal muscles, the muscles between your ribs expand the space between your ribs, making your chest and lungs expand. Begin to notice that your chest literally expands as you inhale.
  7. You can invite your body to deepen your inhale to exagerate this movement if you wish.
  8. Feel the body expand as you inhale. Feel that you expand and open and allow yourself to float up and out with each inhale.
  9. Notice that as you exhale, your muscles soften, your body relaxes. Notice this softening, this relaxing, and allow yourself to melt.
  10. Let the movement between these two things be like a wave… You’re flowing between opening, expanding, floating and softening, relaxing, melting.
  11. Let that movement, that flow, that wave get stronger and stronger. Exaggerate it if you like. Let your whole spine wave, from pelvis to skull.
  12. When you’re ready move your attention back to simply observing your breath, inviting the body to begin gently slowing down, coming back to physical stillness.
  13. Eventually, end your practice and open your eyes.

Whenever you practice, you can always find this wave, and embody your breath. There’s no need to sit perfectly still like a statue. Even if this movement is subtle from the outside, it is always there. Enjoy letting your body be free and fluid, a living, breathing wave of awareness.

Enjoy,
Elena

You’re welcome to download this practice as many times as you like, as well as share it with others, as long as it is for non-commerical use only.

To download it, right click on the black bar above and choose Download Audio.

Move Your Immunity

Your lymphatic system, an important part of your immune system, is passive, meaning that it does not move itself.
Instead, it moves when you do. That also means that if you aren’t moving it isn’t either.

Movement is important for keeping your lymphatic system functioning: flowing and flushing out toxins, infections and disease.

Since you have concentrations of lymph nodes in your neck, armpits and groin, walking, which moves all of these areas, is a simple, effective way to get your lymph moving.

If you’re bedridden, do your best to move your neck, arm pits and groin.

Otherwise, get up and walk, run, dance, do yoga, etc. everyday!

Enjoy moving!

Understanding the Other

A challenge I’m giving myself in these times that encourage taking on challenges…

If we care to look, there are a lot of different opinions about what’s happening in the world, on all kinds of topics, from health to politics, economy to environment.

And when I listen to someone I don’t agree with I give myself this challenge:

Can I understand where this person is coming from?
Even if I don’t agree with them, can I understand why they think and feel the way they do? Can I listen with a mind and heart open enough to allow their reasoning to come through?

It’s a wonderful challenge that is helping me understand a great many viewpoints and ultimately have a much clearer picture of what’s happening around the globe.

Make no decisions when you’re afraid

Mortal fear shifts us into a neurological state commonly called ‘fight, flight or freeze’. The autonomic nervous system takes over in milliseconds making significant bio-chemical shifts (dumping out cortisol, adrenaline, changing systemic blood flows, etc.) one of which is preferring the hind brain for instant decision making… this mental speed comes at the cost of complexity as it’s largely binary. It’s as intelligent as yes/no or more likely run/fight. This is perfect if the danger is an incoming train or a burning house, but not great for complex social, economic or political decisions.

There’s a lot of fear floating around these days and what’s been helping me is to recognize when I’m in fear and NOT make decisions from it. This is where my self-awareness practices come in handy! I acknowledge the fear and let it pass before doing or saying what ever seemed like a good idea in that binary state… Usually I’m thankful I did.

I’m encouraging you to also recognize when you’re in fear – you likely have a lot of opportunities these days – and let it pass before making any decisions. Wait for your whole brain to come back online, giving yourself to make the best decisions possible.

You’ll likely be thankful you did. As will your family, friends, community and world. Certainly, I’m rooting for you!

May we all move through these things with grace and wisdom, health and happiness.
Much Love, Elena

I forgot to practice!

(4m46s video, 1m40s text)

How many times has that happened?!

All of a sudden you realize that you forgot to practice today… or this week, or for the last month or year.

That’s not a fun moment.
It feels bad. You haven’t done something that you know is good for you, that helps you feel great and keeps you sane.
There’s a moment of painful emotions, for me a mix of guilt, shame, frustration, anger, sadness.

It’s useful to recognize and acknowledge those feelings. They’re reminding us that we’re off track. They’re providing motivation to get back in gear.

And you can!
The best part is that you can actually decide to practice immediately, turning that sad reminder into a moment of practice! Sweet!

How?

Well, after you accept your feelings, you can decide to do your practice right then and there.

If you meditate, you can get present.
If you do yoga, you can stretch your arms out or do a few neck rolls (go ahead, you know you want to :)).

If you do something like run or lift weights or play tennis, you can embody the practice. Feel what it feels like to run or lift or play… what do you notice?

For example, if you lift and you imagine doing a bench press, you can contract your muscles and notice how your body reacts. This can be a nice light practice in itself. It can also give you information about how you move when you press… are you arching your back too much? Are you overly tight anywhere? Stretch! And take that info into your next practice and see what happens.

If you write, paint, knit, etc. you can feel into your current project. How is it going? Do you want to change anything about it? Add or subtract anything or completely switch something up?

You get the picture.

The point is to take that moment of “bleh” and use it.
Immediately give yourself the benefits of your practice.
Turn “bleh” into “yeah”!

Not only will you get the benefits of practicing immediately, you’ll also be that much more motivated to practice tomorrow! Yeah!

Happy Practicing!,
Elena

Assertiveness Advice?

3m11s video, 1m read time.

What do you do when you want to assert your thoughts and feelings and you know the person you’re talking to doesn’t agree with you?

It’s good to share what we think and feel with each other, and it’s even better to do it in a way that creates connection and support versus divisiveness and pain.

I’ve been working on this for years and I’m still not very good at it.

An assertiveness course that I took said it’s important to be respectful. Sounds good and yet I’m usually feeling in opposition to what’s been said, so respect is hard to lean into in that moment. I know that I still have respect for the person, it’s just hard to express that when my main mental-emotional state at the moment is something like, “Well, that’s completely wrong!”

I think that cultivating respect for people and ideas is an excellent thing to do… It’s just challenging in that situation, and I’d love some ideas for what to do that is closer to what I’m feeling. Basically, I need some more steps to move me from, “You’re wrong!” to “I respect you.”

Interestingly, quite a few times, I’ve done this by first taking the time to say that I respect the person and their ideas and that I want to share an idea of mine that is different. The problem here is that by then I’ve created so much connection that they usually bend over backwards (unconsciously) to harmonize our ideas! Yikes!

At that point, I feel like I don’t really know what they think anymore! And we definitely can’t have a useful conversation where we explore our differences. Messy.

So, what do you do?

How do you approach being in opposition without being rude or divisive and without creating so much connection that the other person wants to agree with you regardless?

I’d love your thoughts!

Happy Asserting!,
Elena

How Is This Supposed to Be Comfortable?!

This is an excerpt from a book I’m writing about coaching meditation. I find that right away people have issues with comparison and thinking that they have to sit cross-legged on the floor to meditate… both of which are famously uncomfortable things to do! Here are some ways to play with both of those challenges…

How is this supposed to be comfortable?

Often we see photos of people sitting serenely on the grass, cross legged, back straight, with a blissful look on their face.

Of course when we sit down like that, our feet go to sleep instantly, right after our knees and back start screaming in pain. This posture is in no way comfortable. How do the people in the photos do it?!

Well first, remember that you’re looking at a photo and that the person may have sat like that for 2 seconds and then started rolling around in agony just after the shutter clicked. 

Maybe they can sit like that for hours on end. Maybe not. 

Just keep this in mind: looks can be deceiving.

Remember that when you’re looking at photos. Remember that when you’re sneaking a peak at the people sitting next to you in a meditation practice. 

You have no idea what they’re feeling. Or what they’re experiencing. On any level.

You cannot read a book by its cover.

When you see real-live people sitting like that; maybe you walk into a yoga class or you’re at a meditation practice, remember that no matter what the outside looks like, you have NO IDEA what is going on inside. Their legs might have fallen off in the first 30 seconds, they might be in agonizing pain. They might even look serene because their minds are be totally focused on the delicious ice-cream cone they had last night, completely lost in beautiful thoughts. 

I’m not saying that everyone that you see meditating is in agony or lost in thought. I’m just saying remember that you don’t know what someone is experiencing on the inside by looking at them from the outside. 
Just saying.

So remember that when you quite naturally compare yourself with photos – or the meditators around you – that you don’t know what they’re experiencing. Give them the space to be in pain, lost in thought, struggling or totally comfortable and blissed out in Nirvana… and all of the spaces in between.  Even more importantly give yourself the space to be feeling and thinking whatever you’re feeling and thinking, too. 

They don’t get points for looking good. And neither do you. 
You advance in this practice, if there is any advancement, by being real. By noticing, “Holy cow, Batman! This is painful.” Or “Wow, I’m actually comfortable at the moment. Nice!”

Just notice whatever is happening. That’s all that’s really required.

My point here is that, first you don’t have to be calm and serene, especially on the inside. Sitting is painful for everyone in the beginning. And no matter what anyone else looks like on the outside, I guarantee you they are having (or have had or will have) their own adventures through crazy land, too. 

Having said all of that, I completely disagree with the idea that you have to sit cross-legged on the floor in order to meditate. It’s really not necessary. Sitting is a valid way to meditate, for sure, it’s just not the only one.

I do respect and recommend the practices that I’ve done and studied that require you to sit cross-legged. I find them very useful and powerful practices. 

I also respect and recommend the practices that I’ve done and studied that do not require you to sit like this. 

I’ve done super powerful practices that require you to literally jump up and down and go, “HUUUH” as you land. Not painful at all. Bit embarrassing when the neighbors complain, but that’s a whole different issue. This was an Osho Dynamic Mediations and hugely powerful and effective for what it sets out to achieve. 

There are many, many more comfortable practices the Sufis who spin in circles. (The YouTube videos and photos are beautiful to see!) 5 Rhythms, which is a free movement (dance) practice. There’s also Suddaba, a creation of Will Johnson, which asks you to let the body move spontaneously, which was my main practice for the first two years. 

My point here is that you can choose a practice that is physically uncomfortable if that practice calls you, or you can choose a practice that isn’t physically painful AT ALL. You can do practices that allow you to sit in a chair, stand up or even move around freely. The options are practically endless.

Know that you have choices.

Thanks for reading and happy practicing!,
Elena

Fun Shoulder Love

One thing that most of us don’t do enough of is move.

And if we do move, we don’t necessarily move those parts that are most effected by our modern, device using lifestyles… like our shoulders.

Why is movement important?

Many of the functions of our bodies depend on movement, some directly like the flow of lymph, which only moves when we move, and some indirectly like the flow of nutrients to cells which slows down in areas where the interstitial fluid becomes viscous… due to lack of movement.

*(If you want to get geeky, there’s an excerpt below from Anatomy Trains on how movement, nutrition, strain, etc. effect the facia, intercellular fluids and cellular nutrition.)

Basically, if we’re not moving all parts of our bodies regularly our bodies aren’t functioning optimally. The parts that aren’t moved will get tight, weak, constricted, congested and clogged.
And thus undernourished.
Not a pretty picture.

On the other hand, our bodies love to move! It feels great to stretch and wiggle and flex and sigh.

That great feeling is our bodies saying, “Thank you! I loved that!”

Movement helps the body open, decongest, strengthen and flow.
And nourish itself optimally.
Along with eating and watering (!!), resting, sleeping and exercising (to get all systems flowing), movement is crucial to your cellular wellbeing.

One area I don’t move and stretch as much as I could is my upper torso. I spend a lot of time on my computer with my shoulders slightly hunched forward, like right now as I write, and not as much time moving, opening and stretching.

If you feel the same, I encourage you to take a moment right now and stretch out wide, roll your shoulders, head and neck and let yourself sigh with pleasure.
I just did, and oh, is my body happier!

I’ve included in the video above an exercise I learned recently for moving the shoulders in their full range of motion. I really enjoyed playing with it because my body understood immediately though my brain was lost. I was moving my body in a new way, one that my mind didn’t follow, so was in kid-like wonder… “This is great! Can I do this with my other arm, too? Wait! What am I doing exactly?! I don’t know! How fun! Can I do both arms at once? How about in reverse?! Whee!”

Or if you’d rather do some more traditional stretches for upper torso, I highly recommend Andrey Lappa’s passive shoulder asanas. They are some of the most effective upper body stretches I’ve ever done.
Amazing constructions. Beautiful yoga.
Know that they are intense. Definitely warm-up well first!

Or just move instinctively! Right where you are! It’s easy to just stretch any way you like. And breathe. One of the best thing we can do is simply incorporate a bit of movement everyday for those parts that aren’t getting enough attention.
Check-in… where ever you feel tight, restricted and blah, get your wiggle on.

Your body will thank you.

Hope that Helps and Happy Moving!,
Elena

*Excerpt below from Anatomy Trains by Thomas W. Myers
(Bolding and items in [brackets] are mine. -EF):

“How easily the nutrients make it to the target cells is determined by:
1. the density of the fibrous matrix [the facia];
2. the viscosity of the ground substance [intercellular fluid].
If the fibers are too dense, or the ground substance too dehydrated and viscous, then these cells will be less thoroughly fed and watered. It is one basic intention of manual and movement interventions – quite aside from the educational value they may have – to open both of these elements to allow free flow of nutrients to, and waste products from, these cells. The condition of the fibers and ground substance is of course partially determined by genetic and nutritional factors, as well as exercise, but local areas can be subject to ‘clogging’ through either of these two mechanisms when excess strain, trauma, or insufficient movement has allowed such clogging to occur. Once the clog is dispersed, by what-ever means, the free flow of chemistry to and from the cells allows the cell to stop functioning on metabolism-only ‘survival’ mode to resume its specialized ‘social’ function, be that contraction, secretion, or conduction.
‘There is but one disease,’ says Paracelsus, ‘and its name is congestion.’ “

Adding Struggle to Your Vision Board?

It’s popular in some circles to denigrate the New Age movement.
And I do think there are some things missing from its positive facing approach.

But what if we recognized that what we can do – and in fact are doing – is growing it into something else?

It’s useful to see what’s missing from something.
It’s helpful to recognize what’s not working.
That’s how we can understand what to add or change.
And it’s often more efficient to take what is useful and add to it, make it better, stronger, and more robust, than to start all over again.

I think that’s what we’ve been doing for years. I think that we’ve been evolving the New Age ideas and making them better. The work of people like Brene Brown on shame and vulnerability, Mark Manson on choosing your struggle, Bronnie Ware on regret and many, many more, add a welcome balance.

I’ve found it helpful to do my New Age inspired vision board, and in that process reflect and feel into not only the beautiful things I want to create, also into ‘whats getting in the way’ à la Brene Brown and ‘what struggles go along with them and are those the struggles I want?’ à la Mark Manson?

For example, if I want to be more successful, why am I not already? Am I scared that people won’t like me? Am I ashamed of myself somehow?

Also, I’ll have to work differently to be more successful. Is working differently something I want to do? Is that a struggle I want to have?

It’s not that any of these ideas are new. It’s more that I’d like to point out the progression… We’re evolving The New Age. We’ve been evolving The New Age. No need to push it away. We’ve been adapting it for years, and we can keep doing that until whatever we’re making is so different we don’t even recognize any “New Age” in it.

Brene Brown said something like hope is the knowing that when you fall you can get back up. This is a pretty powerful statement because it implies 1. that you’re consciously aware that falling is a part of the process, 2. that you’ve gotten back up and 3. that you’re willing to do it all again. Eyes open.
You accept the challenging along with the good.

I think we’re evolving the beautiful New Age ideas into a more robust from of hope. Hope that includes the challenges.

Beautiful creation. Hope added.

Happy Hoping,
Elena