This is an excerpt from a book I’m writing about coaching meditation. I find that right away people have issues with comparison and thinking that they have to sit cross-legged on the floor to meditate… both of which are famously uncomfortable things to do! Here are some ways to play with both of those challenges…

How is this supposed to be comfortable?

Often we see photos of people sitting serenely on the grass, cross legged, back straight, with a blissful look on their face.

Of course when we sit down like that, our feet go to sleep instantly, right after our knees and back start screaming in pain. This posture is in no way comfortable. How do the people in the photos do it?!

Well first, remember that you’re looking at a photo and that the person may have sat like that for 2 seconds and then started rolling around in agony just after the shutter clicked. 

Maybe they can sit like that for hours on end. Maybe not. 

Just keep this in mind: looks can be deceiving.

Remember that when you’re looking at photos. Remember that when you’re sneaking a peak at the people sitting next to you in a meditation practice. 

You have no idea what they’re feeling. Or what they’re experiencing. On any level.

You cannot read a book by its cover.

When you see real-live people sitting like that; maybe you walk into a yoga class or you’re at a meditation practice, remember that no matter what the outside looks like, you have NO IDEA what is going on inside. Their legs might have fallen off in the first 30 seconds, they might be in agonizing pain. They might even look serene because their minds are be totally focused on the delicious ice-cream cone they had last night, completely lost in beautiful thoughts. 

I’m not saying that everyone that you see meditating is in agony or lost in thought. I’m just saying remember that you don’t know what someone is experiencing on the inside by looking at them from the outside. 
Just saying.

So remember that when you quite naturally compare yourself with photos – or the meditators around you – that you don’t know what they’re experiencing. Give them the space to be in pain, lost in thought, struggling or totally comfortable and blissed out in Nirvana… and all of the spaces in between.  Even more importantly give yourself the space to be feeling and thinking whatever you’re feeling and thinking, too. 

They don’t get points for looking good. And neither do you. 
You advance in this practice, if there is any advancement, by being real. By noticing, “Holy cow, Batman! This is painful.” Or “Wow, I’m actually comfortable at the moment. Nice!”

Just notice whatever is happening. That’s all that’s really required.

My point here is that, first you don’t have to be calm and serene, especially on the inside. Sitting is painful for everyone in the beginning. And no matter what anyone else looks like on the outside, I guarantee you they are having (or have had or will have) their own adventures through crazy land, too. 

Having said all of that, I completely disagree with the idea that you have to sit cross-legged on the floor in order to meditate. It’s really not necessary. Sitting is a valid way to meditate, for sure, it’s just not the only one.

I do respect and recommend the practices that I’ve done and studied that require you to sit cross-legged. I find them very useful and powerful practices. 

I also respect and recommend the practices that I’ve done and studied that do not require you to sit like this. 

I’ve done super powerful practices that require you to literally jump up and down and go, “HUUUH” as you land. Not painful at all. Bit embarrassing when the neighbors complain, but that’s a whole different issue. This was an Osho Dynamic Mediations and hugely powerful and effective for what it sets out to achieve. 

There are many, many more comfortable practices the Sufis who spin in circles. (The YouTube videos and photos are beautiful to see!) 5 Rhythms, which is a free movement (dance) practice. There’s also Suddaba, a creation of Will Johnson, which asks you to let the body move spontaneously, which was my main practice for the first two years. 

My point here is that you can choose a practice that is physically uncomfortable if that practice calls you, or you can choose a practice that isn’t physically painful AT ALL. You can do practices that allow you to sit in a chair, stand up or even move around freely. The options are practically endless.

Know that you have choices.

Thanks for reading and happy practicing!,
Elena