Recently, many people have mentioned to me their desire to forgive someone. I love this desire to lean-in and clear pain from our lives. This is a great way to evolve as a species. So, here is a practice I find hugely powerful for doing just that.
How often have younot saidanythingwhen you’re upset? Holding it in, doing your best to keep the peace? And then those times when you do say something, the other person gets upset in response!
Ouch! Now you’re uncomfortable and they’re uncomfortable, too. Argh!
This means that not only do we need to get better at expressing our own emotions, but we also have to get better at handling those of others. As if the first was not hard enough!
Identify as introverted? What if you’re not introverted, you’ve just outgrown the social malaise: societies general state of poor emotional health and lack of development?
Sure, some of us are truly introverts, we really do prefer to be by ourselves, but I would argue that if we really are a social species, essentially herd animals that are wired to need each other then introversion will be very rare… and it isn’t. I know quite a few introverts. In fact, most of my friends identify on the introvert end of the social scale, no matter what age.
Maybe humans not actually as socially inclined as we like to think, or maybe our society is so sick that it’s just not comfortable to be in.
We’re moving this weekend, and, as usual, I’ve taken the opportunity to manifest an even more beautiful home. Yay!
Somehow, magically, this always works.
I’ve moved a lot, and I know that if I’m patient, stay in the orbit of grateful and allow myself to expand, I will find an even more amazing home than the one before.
By now, I mostly trust the process, but it can be hard to orbit grateful and allow expansion – because life always throws spanners in the works.
Sometimes big ones. The question seems to be, how big do I want to get?
Ok, it’s happening. Someone is doing or saying something you don’t like or asking for something you don’t want to give and alarm bells are going off in your head and heart. You feel really uncomfortable, maybe even angry, and you want to address it. A boundary needs to be set…
Here we go with Assertiveness 101. I’ve just created this new crib sheet for us to play with. You’re welcome to test it out with me. Below is a video for those who prefer to watch, and a more comprehensive text for those who prefer to read. They’re a bit different, so if you really resonate with this topic, consider both.
I’m sharing some of my most hard won lessons with you today. They’re about facing vs avoiding painful emotions. Hard won because as biological beings wired to avoid pain, toxicity, etc. and if we’re admitting our pain it’s generally because we’re in so much of it that we can’t seem to do anything else – we’re drowning in it and taking everyone and everything down with us. It’s not pretty, and we generally avoid it like the plague. Quite literally.
Welcome to the relaunch of my blog, where I answer your questions and offer my best insights into healing, self-development and awareness.
Before we begin: fair warning… in my personal and professional work, I dive in, and go deep. I generally believe that the best way to deal with anything is to lean in, to use whatever is here for growth and evolution, be it joy, sorrow or somewhere in between. This isn’t for everyone, and isn’t even for me all the time. I need to be ready to ask myself hard questions – and be honest about the answers.
So, if you’re not of the “I use my challenges to learn from” persuasion or you just don’t have the bandwidth to go deep today, stop now and either find something softer to work with or come back when you’re feeling up for some serious work.
We have addictions, unhealthy habits, because we’re filling needs. I eat sugar to feel loved!
If we want to quit an addiction, we first need to understand that addictions aren’t random. They don’t just descend on us by accident. We have them for a reason (or three).