Hello Beautiful Souls,
We’re moving this weekend, and, as usual, I’ve taken the opportunity to manifest an even more beautiful home. Yay!
Somehow, magically, this always works.
I’ve moved a lot, and I know that if I’m patient, stay in the orbit of grateful and allow myself to expand, I will find an even more amazing home than the one before.
By now, I mostly trust the process, but it can be hard to orbit grateful and allow expansion – because life always throws spanners in the works.
Sometimes big ones.
The question seems to be, how big do I want to get?
Almost always, with moving, something about money comes up. This time it’s overpaying rent (oops) and negotiating the details of the new rental contract.
I can feel like a victim if I want. “Why does life always do this to me?!”
I can feel like it’s fate, “C’est la vie. Whenever we want to do anything in life, there’s always something in the way.”
Or, I can recognize that all of the problems that arise are already here inside of me. They’re all problems that I already harbor. Issues that I carry around with me all the time, though I’m not having to face them until I’m in particular situations… like needing to sort out who owes who money. Or who will be owing who money, and how much.
I’m realizing that this is the gift of expansion… anytime I want to manifest something that I don’t have, then I have to grow, to get bigger. Necessarily, I invite all my blocks around it to show up. All of the things that were stopping me, all of the reasons that I haven’t done whatever it is before, must now be dealt with.
Life isn’t doing this to me.
I’m doing this to me.
I’m asking for expansion. I have to shed the old restrictions, the old barriers, the old skin that will be too small for the new me to be.
And the capacity to which I can face my fears, deal with my blocks, lean into the shadows and embrace them, heal them, work with them is the amount of expansion that I can allow.
I really like this way of framing these kinds of struggles. It helps me feel like while some challenges might arrive at seemingly arbitrary times, ones like this, ones in which I’m seeking expansion, come with challenges built in.
They aren’t arbitrary.
They’re a necessary part of my expansion process.
So far, things are going ok.
Agreements are being made, details sorted.
The next home is lovely, but it’s only until end of January, so clearly, there’s still some work to do.
Gulp.
Wish me luck.
As you know, this stuff ain’t easy.
Eléna