Ok, so now that I’ve started playing with the physicality of falling down, I moved on to another forward roll technique to keep my mind engaged in the activity, and have invited the emotional part to come and play too. Yikes.

After warming up a bit and checking in with my self (Everything ok in here to play this way right now? Yes. Great. Let’s go!) I opened to the fear of falling (I imagined slipping), located the fear in my body (belly and throat as well curiously, hadn’t noticed that aspect of it before), felt into it, took a breath for courage and did a forward roll. Shew… scary. After a few rolls it came to me to just fall down on the futon and lie there as if I had fallen for real. Oh boy.

I ended up flat on my back full of fear and all of these associated feelings of incapacity, inability and unworthiness welled up. Then it came to set up a safety bubble and I laid sprawled in the fears for as long as I could, breathing gently and staying open.

Then I had to eat some chocolate and distract myself with washing some dishes.
I hadn’t expected this fear to go so deep!

After relaxing a bit, and checking in again (“Everything ok in here to do some more?”) I started playing again and noticed that the fear was much, much less intense. Great!

A Technique to Splay with

Here is the second forward roll technique, this time from gymnastics…
I found the video a helpful visual, but I really needed the written instructions below before I understood how to do this roll, so I recommend watching the video to get the idea and then reading the steps below for full understanding… and then of course, splaying with it!

Gymnastics forward roll (link to the video)

Do-a-Forward-Roll Instructions (text)

Note: I found using my hands helped with this one. First, to contact the floor lightly at the beginning of the roll helped me land on my shoulders (not on head or neck, please!), and second, at the end of the roll, immediately stretching them out in the air in front of me helped maintain and direct the momentum of my body up to standing.

Happy Splaying!,
Elena