Do you have a friend that you can be honest with? That you feel safe enough with that you can give and receive truth from, even when it’s not so comfortable?
Most relationships are more surface, which is usually a good thing.
Most of us aren’t equipped to hear what everyone really thinks, and most of us think so many goofy things, that it’s not great to be sharing all that silliness anyway. Certainly my inner critic does not need to be given free rein to speak her mind to everyone all the time!
Still, it’s good to have a friend that you respect deeply and can be honest with.
Why? Two good reasons that I can think of:
- Sometimes you just need to talk to someone about what’s really going on with you. Sometimes the act of verbalizing helps you recognize what’s happening. If you talk to a surface level friend, you’re not going to be so comfortable sharing your deeper thoughts and feelings, and this sharing won’t be so helpful.
- Sometimes it can be really helpful to share with someone who can give you honest feedback about what they see in you. “Hey, Elena, I think you’re missing something here. This might be heard to hear, but have you thought about it like this?”
This can be life saving! I recently went through two weeks of internal craziness, getting lost in my wacky brain. When I finally got around to meditating, I felt much better, and then hours later talking to friends helped me clarify what had happened. Listening to myself be totally honest with them about my experience helped me understand what I had done… and how to recognize if it started happening again.
Journaling is another great way to do this. Journaling helps you get clear about what you think and feel. The added bonus with friends is that they can talk back to you. “Yep, Elena, that sounds like you. I think you’re right on target. Something else that might help…”
Priceless. Honest friendships are like gold. Wonderful resources. Great places to give and get wisdom, joy, honesty, perspective, reflection, etc.
If you don’t have a friendship like this at the moment, it can be helpful to feel into who in your current circle of friends you feel the most comfortable being honest with. Which relationship could shift out of just “being nice” and into deeper territory. There’s likely someone there, the relationship will just take some investment on your part to deepen.
Enjoy,
Elena
www.ElenaFoucher.com