(video: 2:03) Sometimes when I’m willing to look at my fears, to see what’s bothering me, I get overwhelmed with all of the things that I don’t like – everything feels bad! It’s like once I start looking at what I’m not happy about that’s all I can see – more and more things I don’t like!
What can I do about that? I realized that it was really helpful to also look at what I like! Duh!
Balance is key. Then I can still face what’s not working AND not get overwhelmed by it. Shew!
(video 6:33) I often have this dilemma when I’m facing my issues: once I start looking at what’s wrong, EVERYTHING seems wrong! It’s like the whole world seems sour. Negativity takes over. Yikes!
So how can I look at what’s wrong without that taking over everything? How can I look for negativity and not have negativity color everything?
For instance, there were somethings that I was uncomfortable with and I felt that it was a good idea to start admiting outloud that I was uncomfortable – sharing why I was unhappy with the people around me so that they knew what was going on with me. Sounds like a healthy thing to do, right? Except that I started realizing I was uncomfortable with A LOT of things… I started seeing discomfort everywhere! To the point that it was super exaggerated! Argh!
That wasn’t helpful either!
I didn’t have a solution to share, until after I made this video (see the next one). I wanted to share this with you to say if you’re feeling this way you have a friend!!!
(video 4:12) I listened to the Science of Meditation Summit presentation by meditation teacher Susan Piver who said one of the myths about mindfulness is that it is a form of self-help. “It’s not,” she says, and after listening to her explaination, I totally agree.
Mindfulness as a concept is simply being present, aware of ourselves, and pure mindfulness practice is simply noticing ourselves. What ever we’re doing, thinking, feeling, we simply notice. We don’t try to change anything, we simply notice.
Self-help is another set of meditations, therapies and tools that we use to change what we notice. If, using mindfulness, we notice that we’re angry a lot and inappropriate with how we express it, we might take other steps to create healthier expressions of our anger. Now we’ve added self-help.
I find this distinction really useful for understanding the role of mindfulness and the role of self-help. Mindfulness is for being aware of what is happening. Self-help is for changing what is happening.
