Meditation In Daily Life

How to Deal with Discomfort


Feeling too uncomfortable to practice?

That’s normal!

You don’t have to practice if you don’t want to!

And when you feel ready, take a few minutes and simply notice what comes up. Be present to whatever happens.

You may notice yourself…
not wanting to think or feel whatever you’re thinking or feeling. Keep noticing that. Stay with it. Stay present. Remember that whatever you are thinking or feeling will change eventually. EVERYTHING does. And if you stay present with it, and don’t try to change or fix it, it will naturally change (on it’s own) even faster.

You may notice yourself…
diving into the stories around why you are thinking and feeling those things. You may notice yourself adding fuel and building up the pain! Keep noticing that. Stay present, simply observing yourself doing that. It will change on it’s own eventually, especially if you stay present and just notice versus try to change or fix it. And if you do start changing or fixing it, simply notice THAT!

It is the noticing that is the key. The more you can simply notice, the more you allow whatever is here to be here. If you try to change or fix, inevitably you repress it and that locks it into place. Things that we’re repressing, we are holding and thus we can’t let go of them. If you can wait it out, simply observing, you will reach a point where you don’t need to repress any of it and your innate wisdom will surface with the answer for how to solve what ever is happening. It will not feel like repression or denial. You won’t feel that you need to make it stop. Instead, you will see the wisdom of what is happening, the undercurrents and the reasons and often the situation will reveal itself as useful and helpful… it will usually naturally end at that point.

Eventually, you may cultivate the willingness to notice whatever you are thinking and feeling… Not because you like it or want to be thinking or feeling whatever you are thinking and feeling… Simply because it is here. You will stay present because you will know the wisdom of this process.

Play with it and see if this works for you.

The Usefulness & Release of Denial

Denial is a natural, healthy part of human life. When a situation is overwhelming, our brain represses part of the experience for processing later. We do this so we can be functional at the moment.

This is how we can walk away from the burning car on a broken leg. Shock numbs us and we can perform in the moment, save ourselves & others… And not feel the agony of our broken leg until afterwards.

Mental and emotional pain are similar. We repress part of the information in the moment for processing later… when we’re safe.

When you are in a safe place, you can sit and be present with your pains.

Several things will happen. First, as you allow them to surface, the energy you were using to to hold them in place will be released. Your body and mind will relax the tension needed to hold them in.

Second, you will begin to experience them. They may seem HUGE as you let them come up. Or they may go numb. Or or or. Many things can happen. Stay present and notice what is happening. Be curious. Let the process take its own time and trust the wisdom of your system, of your Being. Stay present, aware, mindful.

Third, they will begin to release on their own. As you stop holding them in, they are free to go. The processing will take its own time, and they will dissipate naturally.

If you feel overwhelmed, get help. This may be too big for you to handle on your own in a healthy way. Lot’s of people can help.

Fourth, as it all completes, you will feel lighter. You will have freed yourself of needing to hold onto pain. Yay! Enjoy!

Your Relaxation Toolbox

(video:3:09) The holidays can be stressful!

How can you make them more relaxing so that you enjoy them to the fullest?

One thing that you can do it think about the things you like to do to relax & de-stress in everyday life… What kinds of things do you do that help you relax normally? Do you like to exercise? Do you have a cup of tea? Do you read, go for a walk, or play with your cat?

Now think about how you can you set yourself up to do those things over the holidays. How can you do those things wherever you are? Can you bring your running shoes or a few weights or exercise videos? Can you take your favorite tea and share it with other relatives, making it into a nice shared moment of relaxation together? Can you bring a great book or magazines? Can you plan daily walks, perhaps after big meals with the whole family or by yourself in the mornings to get out and enjoy the world waking up?

Whatever will work for you, set yourself up with a few things and create a Relaxation Toolbox to use every day and to pull out whenever things get a bit too hectic. You will appreciate it and so will your friends and family!

Prepare for relaxation and make your holidays bright!
Enjoy!,
Eléna

Cultivating Compassion

(video 4:59) The Science of Meditation Summit interview with Dr. Kelly McGonigal was all about compassion, her research and experience.

Compassion for others is an instinct, according to her research, as social animals we’re geared towards helping our community members relieve their suffering. This keeps our survival group strong.

Self-compassion is not instinctive. Instinctively we respond to our own suffering with stress: distress, shame, guilt, fight, fight, freeze, etc.

If we’re going to train compassion for self and others, she suggests that we do both at the same time. Cultivate compassion for others, practicing to improve that natural process, and also include self-compassion in the practice to build that as well.

Watch the video for a brief description of a compassion practice.

Enjoy!,
Elena
www.ElenaMariaFoucher.com

Decision Fatigue

(video 4:13min) I’ve been reading research lately that talks about decision fatigue, the idea that over time, say over the course of a day, your ability to make decisions decreases. Essentially, you’re good at making decisions when you start, and then not so good, to bad as you continue.

The metaphor that is often used is that it’s like a muscle, it’s strong at first and then after using it for a while it gets tired and eventually too week to move.

After you rest you’re ready to go again.

This makes lunch breaks, coffee breaks, etc really important! Stop making decisions when you take breaks. Unplug.

If you can’t break for your whole lunch time, take a shorter break. Doing a 2 to 5 minute meditation practice is a great micro-break whenever you need one during the day. Or even a few mindful breaths… look away from your work & take a few.

Studies say you’ll make better decisions after enough rest.
Try it out & see if you agree!

Hypnosis & Meditation in the Resting Room

(video: 3:52min) Live from the Resting Room, brought to you by the genius of the Hive, interior designers, sound artists Tom Middleton & Musicstyling, life coach Patrick Wenko and I… We’ve all collaborated to create this space perfect for resting, refreshing, coaching and meditation.

…and hypnosis if you wish.
What’s the difference? How do you know if you’re hypnotizing yourself or meditating?

The simple answer is, are you aware of yourself? If you’re aware of yourself, your thoughts & emotions and all you are projecting onto the situation then you are meditating.

Here is what Tom Middleton has to say about his Bioharmonic Surround Soundscapes that he has contributed to the Resting Room:

“Thrilled to be partnering with The Hive, Musicstyling, Nexus, Elena and Mariko to showcase a brand new immersive multi-sensory innovation in the co-working sector to help optimise productivity and improve workplace mindfulness and wellbeing.

Sonux is proud to be supplying bespoke, mindful, holistic, complimentary bioharmonic surround soundscapes. Programmed to gently transport you away for between 20 minutes and an hour depending on the type of program*. Deliberately inducing the body to settle, relax and encourage deep, slow respiration such as Pranayama and Ujjayi breathing techniques to decelerate brainwave activity and reducing cortisol production for a state of calm, focus and clarity.”
“The Resting Room concept is a welcome solution in a fast paced workplace environment, whether it’s for a power nap, on trend ‘nappuccino’, meditation session, or simply some timeout to clear the mind and kickstart the creative flow.
Select a program on the iPad, get comfortable, and float away in a bath of sound!”
(*recommended duration for a sleep cycle optimised power nap.)
Tom Middleton is a pioneering Electronic Music Producer, Sound Designer and Architect, sleep tech/music expert and active/passive listening for mindfulness researcher.
Founder of Sonux, a strategic sound branding consultancy for bespoke UX (user experience) soundtracks for brands, experiences and spaces.
Implementing leading edge academic research in perception modulation, psychomusicology and chemosensory neuroscience.
www.sonux.design

What I Do in Crisis (3): Progressive Breathing

(Video: 4:35min) When we’re really stressed our nervous system goes into ‘fight or flight’ mode & we start breathing fast & shallow. One nice way to help our system relax is to deepen our breathing.

If I’m really stressed, I can’t do that. I’m too overwhelmed to change my breathing. I will usually take a mindful breath , observing my (fast!) breathing & then when I’m a bit calmer I can play with my breath.

Progressive breathing starts with noticing my breath as it is and then inviting the next breath to be just a little bit longer & deeper. Just a tiny bit. I invite the next breath to again, be a tiny bit longer and I keep doing that bit by bit, until I’m taking much deeper breaths.

With this simple, subtle method, I gently encourage my nervous system to settle down pretty quickly.

Try it out & get good at it when you’re calm so that you already know how to do it when stress hits. As one client said, ‘build your parachute before you jump.’

What I Do in Crisis (1): A Mindful Breath

(Video: 3:45 min) I spent some quality time this summer understanding what helps me when I’m really stressed.

This is the first in a series on what worked during those crisis moments. These tools are what I used when I needed to do something to gain composure versus blowup or meltdown.

This first one, a mindful breath, is a great tool for giving me some perspective without requiring too much of my already overtaxed system.