thoughts

Why You Don’t Believe You’re Bigger Than Your Thoughts

I know, for most of us the idea that we’re not our thoughts, emotions and sensations sounds ludicrous at best.

Someone telling you that is either insane or trying to sell you something. Or maybe trying to get you to join something (which is the same thing really).

I mean, for most of us we are our thoughts! That is completely our experience. And saying it’s not is irrational – it’s denying reality!
It’s nuts!

Except that it’s crazy-making, all this stuff in your head, and you want out. Maybe they know something you don’t?

But how can that be?! You’re in the same reality that they are, how can you be missing something so fundamental?

Well, it’s not that you’re missing anything, exactly… It’s just that you’re so busy paying attention to your thoughts and feelings that you’re not noticing the rest of you. You’re just missing the larger picture because you’re busy focusing on a small part of it, and you’ve done it so well and for so long (most of your life!) that you’ve actually forgotten that you can do anything else!

You’re literally out of the habit of exercising the other parts of you. It’s like if you only used one of your two healthy arms. If you did that long enough, if you focused exclusively on the one arm that you used, you’d likely completely forget that the other arm existed. Now who’s crazy? :)

So, you don’t believe that huge parts of you are here because you’re not using them. Because you’re using your mind and feelings exclusively. Of course you don’t know what people are talking about when they tell you to use your other arm! It makes sense. Your other arm, your bigger self, isn’t part of your experience (anymore).

The good news, is that if this makes sense to you and you want to play with it, you can get it back. In fact it hasn’t gone anywhere! Just like your arm, it’s still a part of you. You just need to stop focusing exclusively on your thoughts and feelings and notice the rest of you.

How to Calm Your Mind, Part 2

(video 12:04min) In Part 1 we covered the idea that when we’re practicing mindfulness, and when we’re being mindful we’re going to keep thinking… And that actually we WANT to think (gasp!).

And now we want to know why we’re told during practice that we should “let go of our thoughts”? If thinking is ok, then why do we need to let go of it?

Great question! On to Part 2!

Emotional Awareness

MME Album Art(5:55) I use this practice A LOT. It is one of the most powerful meditation tools that I have. Whenever something is screaming for my attention, whenever a sensation, emotion or thought is taking over (overwhelm!), I use this practice to help me embrace it. By turning my attention to it, becoming fully present to it, I can integrate it into myself – and the overwhelm subsides because it has my attention!

Sometimes it takes multiple sits to fully integrate if it is something big… so don’t be discouraged if it takes a few times. Most things integrate fairly quickly and some things I’ve been working with for years! :)

This practice works best if you have some experience with meditation, especially with being present or focusing your attention on something that is happening right now (like your breathing, your physical sensations, what you can hear or see, etc).

Mindfulness Practice: Emotional Awareness

  1. Notice that something is bothering you or wants your attention.
  2. Start to create awareness of yourself, presence, or space by (closing your eyes and) first focusing on your breathing. “How am I breathing right now?”
  3. Once you are aware of yourself breathing, once you are present, notice what you are feeling and feel it as fully as you are able. If you feel “nothing” notice that as fully as you are able.
  4. As much as you can, just feel what the feeling feels like. Feel with out naming the feeling or going into the stories around the feeling. Focus on feeling the feeling versus on understanding the feeling.
  5. As much as you can maintain your awareness that you are the one feeling the feeling. “I am feeling this right now.” Maintain your awareness that YOU are feeling a feeling. Maintain the perspective that you are feeling vs getting lost in the feelings (and forgetting the perspective of YOU doing the feeling).
  6. If you start to feel overwhelmed by the feeling, give yourself a break and shift your attention to your breath. You can either return to noticing the feeling or decide that you need help navigating this one. Get help if you want it from friends, coaches or therapists.
  7. When you are ready to end move your focus back to your breath for a few breaths and then open your eyes if they are closed. 

When your mind wanders, as it inevitably will, gently bring it back first to presence by noticing your breath and the quiet between thoughts, and then re-focus on the heart of the practice.

 

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Speaking From the Heart: Expressing All of You

(video)  Is it a good idea to express everything that you think and feel?

Should you actually tell someone that you think that their ideas is crazy?
And can you be vulnerable enough to admit to someone when you are afraid?
Is the alternative denial and misery?
What do you say?
Enjoy,
Elena
theJoyLab.net