(video 8min) Children are naturally mindful. Mindfulness is about noticing what’s happening now – inside and out. Kids are much better at paying attention to what’s happening than adults.
Adults have had more time to develop the habit of being lost in thought. We’re more focused on thinking about the past and the future. Most of us are not so in awe of butterflies and dogs and tractors and clouds anymore. We’re more interested in what we should have done yesterday and want to do tomorrow.
Children are much more interested in their environment. This makes it easy to play with them in a mindful way. Make games out of how many things you can see, hear, smell, taste, feel. Develop this kind of communication and then add in what you’re both feeling emotionally and eventually thinking.
Of course, you want to do this as well… Develop your own connection with noticing what’s going on inside and out, develop your skills of taking about it and use that to inform you about yourself… And your children as you invite them to do this, too. Simple.
(video: 2:03) Sometimes when I’m willing to look at my fears, to see what’s bothering me, I get overwhelmed with all of the things that I don’t like – everything feels bad! It’s like once I start looking at what I’m not happy about that’s all I can see – more and more things I don’t like!
What can I do about that? I realized that it was really helpful to also look at what I like! Duh!
Balance is key. Then I can still face what’s not working AND not get overwhelmed by it. Shew!
(video 6:33) I often have this dilemma when I’m facing my issues: once I start looking at what’s wrong, EVERYTHING seems wrong! It’s like the whole world seems sour. Negativity takes over. Yikes!
So how can I look at what’s wrong without that taking over everything? How can I look for negativity and not have negativity color everything?
For instance, there were somethings that I was uncomfortable with and I felt that it was a good idea to start admiting outloud that I was uncomfortable – sharing why I was unhappy with the people around me so that they knew what was going on with me. Sounds like a healthy thing to do, right? Except that I started realizing I was uncomfortable with A LOT of things… I started seeing discomfort everywhere! To the point that it was super exaggerated! Argh!
That wasn’t helpful either!
I didn’t have a solution to share, until after I made this video (see the next one). I wanted to share this with you to say if you’re feeling this way you have a friend!!!
(meditation: 5:48 min) This meditation builds on the meditation called Sensational Awareness. Once you’re good at focusing on an area of sensation in the body, this practice adds noticing the emotions as well. It is very similar to Emotional Awareness (I even called it that in the recording), and the difference is that this one uses sensation as the starting point whereas Emotional Awareness focuses solely on emotions. This practice, Sensational Emotions, is a good bridge between the two.
Instructions:
Begin by getting into position, whatever position works best for your body. This position will become your body-mind’s signal that you are starting a practice. I suggest the following:
Sit on a chair (sofa, bed, etc) with your feet flat on the floor. Rest your hands in your lap. Feel your sit bones pressing down. Float the crown of your head up so that it softly lifts your torso into alignment. Let your back body be a bit firm to maintain this posture and your front body be soft and relaxed.
Take a moment and look around you to ground yourself in the space you’re in (be/become aware of where you are).
Close your eyes and bring your attention to your breath. Feel the sensations of breathing for a few breaths. This will help you be/become aware of your body.
Find an area in your body that feels a bit tense or stiff, an area that feels “charged” to you – an area that might have an emotional component to it. If you aren’t sure, simply focus on the first area you notice that has strong sensation.
Now notice the qualities of the area, as if you were a scientist studying it’s properties. You’ll take time to notice qualitative “facts” about it versus thinking about why it’s like this or that. In other words, you’re going to notice it’s properties and not the who, what and why of it. You’re going to notice “It’s as big as my shoulder,” and not “my shoulder hurts because I’ve been exercising too hard.” Notice things like how big it is (where are the edges?)? How dense? How sharp/dull. What texture? If you could see it what color would it be? Etc.
As you’re noticing the area, you may notice emotions that are related to this area. Do the same with them, and simply examine their qualities, too. Notice things like how sharp or dull is the emotion? How dense is it? If it had a color what color would it be? Etc.
Keeping most of your attention on this area, let other thoughts, sensations and emotions float through the background like passing clouds.
If you find that your attention has become absorbed in something else and you’re no longer noticing the sensations in the area, gently bring your attention back to the area you’ve chosen.
When you feel ready or when your timer rings, end the practice by bringing your attention back to your breath for a few breaths and then gently opening your eyes.
To Download:
Click on the Download button below.
If it does not download automatically:
A new window will open with an audio player (like the player above).
Right click on the player and choose “Download File” or “Download Video”
iPhone users will want to first copy the meditation into iTunes (on your computer) and then sync with your iPhone.
Note that you are welcome to download and share this files as many times as you like provided you do so in it’s entirety and it is used for personal or educational use only (no commercial uses).
(video 4:13) Ever really wanted the future to come true because the present didn’t seem as shiny? I’m moving to a new country soon and boy would that be easy! I could focus on all of the things that are “better” there and really ferment dislike for all of the things that I don’t like here. It’s really tempting to think that change is for the better and therefore the present isn’t as good as the future will be…
And does that help you enjoy where you are right now? And if you stay in that mindset, does it help you enjoy the future when the future becomes right now, your present?
(video 3:30m) If Mindfulness Meditation doesn’t take away the things that are bothering me, how does it help? How does noticing what’s bothering me benefit me? I already know how bothered I am! How is paying attention to it going to make things better?
Great questions! Glad you asked.
It does seems counter-intuitive to do something that not only doesn’t fix the bad things, it has you pay attention to them more! The difference is really about perspective or point of view… normally, when we’re realizing that we feel terrible, we’re in the middle of it. We’re believing the thoughts and emotions that we’re having and we think and feel as if they are our whole reality. We’ve forgotten that actually they’re just thoughts and emotions and that they come and go.
Mindfulness offers us another place to notice from, a place that we have access to at all times if we care to be in it – that part of us that is simply aware that we’re here doing what ever we’re doing (thinking and feeling). It’s simply to notice from that state of mind that is always here, available, that can notice what we’re thinking and feeling.
It’s so simple that it is easy to miss. You can access it right now by noticing where you are physically. Notice that you (in your body) are standing or sitting or lying down where ever you are. Notice that you are there and not say, in Paris (unless of course you are and then notice that you’re in Paris and not in London.) That part of you that just noticed that simple fact is the part we’re using in mindfulness.
If you start thinking or feeling things about the place that you’re in, say that you really like the temperature, there’s a part of you that can notice that you’re thinking. There’s a part that can say, “This is me having the thought that I like the temperature.” That’s it. That’s the part of you that we’re accessing. Super simple.
So how does accessing that part help? Well, imagine that you’re really upset about something. Your heart is racing, you’re breathing fast, you’re looking around for someone or something to yell at… you’re in the middle of emotion. What if you could in that moment access that part of you that can say, “Hey, this is me feeling really upset. Wow. This is big! I’m REALLY upset!”
Right in that moment, you have just given yourself a tiny bit of room from the emotion. You’re still feeling it and you’re also aware that it’s not your whole reality. Suddenly, you have choices. “Hm. I wonder what I want to do with this feeling? Do I want to yell at the person in front of me? Or do I want to let them know I’m super upset and need to go outside and vent for a few minutes?”
See how that works?
Yes, it takes practice and commitment to keep practicing, and if you like it it can change your life. In the beginning you might just get to watch yourself yell at the person, which is pretty painful. “Wow, this is me yelling at this person and being a complete jerk. Ouch.” And slowly, we get better and better at being in the mindful place even during stress, and our ability to choose what to do (vs just yelling) gets stronger and stronger.
Enjoy being mindful.
(p.s. If you’re interested, practicing this state actually causes measurable changes in the brain according to studies. Psychologists call it “self-regulation” and neurologists have found that the related part of the brain grows in size. Look for Dr Sara Lazar’s studies on my Links page.)
Here are a few things to get you started: 3 videos and a FAQ. After that, I suggest finding a mindfulness teacher, downloading an app or getting a good book. If you want to work with me, see my current coaching schedule or email me, elena at elenamariafoucher.com
(meditation: 10:47 min) This meditation is a combination of two practices. It starts with Field of Vision and then shifts to Sensational Awareness.
This meditation is great for people who prefer eyes open practices and who also want to work with pain or discomfort in their bodies.
Instructions:
Begin by getting into position, whatever position works best for your body. This position will become your body-mind’s signal that you are starting a practice. I suggest the following:
Sit on a chair (sofa, bed, etc) with your feet flat on the floor. Rest your hands in your lap. Feel your sit bones pressing down. Float the crown of your head up so that it softly lifts your torso into alignment. Let your back body be a bit firm to maintain this posture and your front body be soft and relaxed.
Close your eyes and bring your attention to your breath. Notice how it feels to breathe for a few breaths.
Then, soften your eyelids and open your eyes. Look down, comfortable distance in front of you at the floor or desk/table if you are sitting at your desk/table.
Let your physical eyes be soft, relaxing the muscles around the eyes. Your vision may get blurry at some point, and let that happen.
Notice what you can see in front of you and also widen your attention to notice your whole field of vision. With out moving your eyes or head, take in your peripheral vision.
Let thoughts float through the background like passing clouds.
If you find that your attention has become absorbed in your thoughts and you’re no longer noticing what you’re looking at, gently bring your attention back to what you can see.
After a few minutes, shift your attention to your breath for a few breaths, and then into body. Find an area of the body that is stiff, sore or painful.
Bring your attention to this part, honoring it with your attention. You are not trying to make it go away, instead you are noticing it in all of it’s uncomfortable glory. It is there for a reason, and we’re honoring the wisdom of our body – the signals that it is giving us.
Notice the qualities of the area, how big it is (where are the edges?), how dense? how sharp/dull, what texture? if you could see it what color would it be? etc.
When you feel ready or when your timer rings, end the practice by bringing your attention back to your breath for a few breaths and then gently opening your eyes.
To Download:
Click on the Download button below.
If it does not download automatically:
A new window will open with an audio player (like the player above).
Right click on the player and choose “Download File” or “Download Video”
iPhone users will want to first copy the meditation into iTunes (on your computer) and then sync with your iPhone.
Note that you are welcome to download and share this files as many times as you like provided you do so in it’s entirety and it is used for personal or educational use only (no commercial uses).
(video 2:45) We also worked on back and knee flexibility.
Here are a few quick yoga exercises that you can do to regain flexibility in your back and knees.
Here is how I see these exercises working best for your body: If you have back or knee issues, for each movement only bend or stretch as far as feels good. If you do these exercises with out straining yourself (stopping your bend or stretch BEFORE it hurts) you will allow your body (muscles and joints) to relax and loosen. You will find that as we repeat each exercise you will naturally be able to bend or stretch a tiny bit more each time, eventually regaining your natural flexibility in that area. Celebrate each centimeter of improved flexibility!
If instead you push your body into the pain zone as you do these movements, your muscles will tense up to protect your body. You will not relax or loosen, and you will not regain flexibility. You will remain stiff. At best you will keep your injuries in place and at worst you could injure yourself more.
Of course, you may not agree with me, and you are welcome to use these exercises in the way is best for you. Whatever you do, enjoy being bendy!
This summer, I had the pleasure of sharing yoga with several lovely humans new to it. Over the course of the week, we slowly built up to doing a Sun Salutation… and here it is.
Note on breathing: There are many, many schools of thought in yoga on how to breathe. For me, the most important part is that you connect your breathing with your movements, meaning that you time your movements to your breath. Whether you’re breathing in or out during a certain movement isn’t as important as that the movement starts when your breath starts. As you begin to breathe in (or out) you begin a movement. Then as you begin to breathe out (or in) you begin the next movement.
(meditation: 5:48 min) This meditation builds on the meditation called