I know that you are, but how can YOU know whether that’s true if it isn’t your current experience?
Most modern humans only experience themselves as their mind (including emotions). Anyone telling them they they’re bigger than that just sounds like a crazy person!
Or at best like they are having a really different experience than you are… which isn’t so helpful.
As a Mindfulness Coach, I task myself with explaining the “unexplainable”… helping your mind understand that you are much bigger than it, despite what your mind thinks (and experiences)… and despite it’s limited ability to see anything outside of itself.
It’s a little bit like getting your eyeball to see itself.
Tricky, hey?
I’ve been “thinking” about it for years. ;) Here’re my latest ideas for you to play with.
Thinking about something else during your practice? Maybe you were lost in thought the whole time until your timer went off and reminded you you were supposed to be practicing? That totally happens to me sometimes! Like this whole week! Yikes!
One way to deal with this is to give your mind something else to focus on. That will help keep it interested in the practice you’re doing.
Mindfulness Can Be Boring!
A big problem that most of us have is that our breath is totally boring! After a few seconds our mind goes, “Man! Where are problems to solve? The videos and movies to watch? What fun is this? I want something to do! I know! I’ll think about this…” and you’re off, lost in thought, totally oblivious to your breath.
Most of the time, I just tell myself (and you) to return to your breath. To come back to noticing your breath whenever you notice that you’re lost in thought. For many of us that’s when we complete the thought, solve the problem or finish the story. At that moment you can rejoice that suddenly you’re aware of yourself (the point of practicing mindfulness! Yay!).
And what happens if you’re so lost in thought that you spend the entirepractice thinking about something else?! This whole week, I’ve been coming to at the end of my practice and realizing that I’ve been lost the entire time! Yikes!
Giving Your Mind Something Else to Do
What’s a meditator to do? After a whole week of this, I realized that I needed to change something! So I remembered a trick I used to use when I first started meditating. This worked really well for me then and it’s working well now, too.
Here’s what I do: I slightly shift my focus to give my mind something slightly new to do. It’s like having a new problem to solve. It works especially well if there’s something to count or quantify. Here are some examples.
Practices To Play With
If you’re focusing on your breath, change from say noticing the qualities of your breath (depth, speed, sensation, etc) to counting your breath. My mind goes, “Oh! You want me to count! Ok! This is something to do! Great!” You can go the other way too. If counting is boring you, change to noticing the qualities. Notice things like how deep or shallow you’re breathing. Or how fast or slow. Or what sensations you can feel. Or the sounds of breathing. Here’s a free guided breathing practice for noticing general qualities (vs counting).
Another example would be if you’re working with your eyes open, you can go from a specific focus, say on the candle in front of you, to soft eyes or noticing your whole field of vision (soften your gaze so that you’re not looking at anything in particular and notice everything in your peripheral vision). Or the other way round, going from soft to specific. You can follow a free guided meditation for having your eyes open here.
In the video I talk about changing up a sound practice if you’d like to try that (also free).
Contra Indications – Things to keep in mind.
Of course, you can also plow through, don’t change your practice at all and know that at some point you will be able to focus again. Someday your mind will settle down and you will be able to focus on your breath during your practice.
In general that’s good advice, especially since the object is to learn to focus and tricking yourself into focusing will only work for so long or so well…
Ultimately you can’t use your mind to meditate. You want to use that larger part of yourself, that part that you naturally access when you’re noticing yourself. This part, when you’re observing, witnessing or noticing yourself, is “larger” than your mind, and that’s really what you want to access. Changing up your practice to help your mind focus is really just a way to get your mind to calm down a bit so that you can notice yourself.
Keeping the Ultimate Goal In Mind
If it helps you be less frustrated when you practice, then play with slightly changing your focus. Keep in mind that when you change your focus, you want to be aware of yourself focusing, à la, “I’m here counting my breath.” or “I’m here looking at this candle.” and you’ll be accessing that larger part of you. You’ll be observing or noticing yourself. Awesome. You’re mindful.
I hope that helps you! Now I just have to follow my own advice! It worked earlier this week, and then I just got excited about the problems I was solving and left my practice in the dust… Ah, the life of a meditator! Sometimes it’s easy and other times it’s fun to see what crazy things we get up to, hey?
(video) I asked myself, The Universe, My Guides to help me choose happiness… is that even possible in a world that included everything? Do I get to choose?
(video) Many of us have a strong habit of focusing on fear… on controlling, fixing, finding fault, etc. Once we realize that we can choose to focus on fun… the first step is noticing!
(video) Sometimes in the middle of turmoil it helps to remember that my thoughts and feelings are things. They are objects. That I am separate from them.
(video) It just takes a bit of practice, some time…
It has been helping me the last few days to remember that when I think that I am not in my Heart, that that is just a thought and with that realization I can be in my Heart immediately. We don’t have to do anything to be ourselves, to be in our Hearts because we’re already us, we’re already Here.
What do you do to practice breaking your thinking habit?
(video) “I’m broken.” can be a really strong belief. The good news, and the bad news is that the only person that can change that belief for you is you.