How to Stick to Your New Year’s Resolutions

(video: 2:45) Having a hard time sticking to your New Year’s resolutions?
You want to start running, but you can’t get out of bed? You want to practice meditation everyday after lunch, but you’re just too busy?

The trick is to remember why you want to do it… BEFORE you do it. Laying there in bed, motivate yourself by remembering how good you feel when you exercise. Let tuer good feeling motivate you to get up and go running! Sitting at lunch, remember how calm and collected you feel when you meditate. Let that sense of peace motivate you to take a few minutes before you rush off.

You know you’ll feel better! Remember that feeling before you do things and mer that good feeling be your motivation!

Happy New Year!

Why Is My Mind Racing?

(video 4:26m) In his book, Restful Sleep, Deepak Chopra mentions that when we lay down to sleep the mind and body will bring up all of the things from the day that haven’t been finished… All of the thoughts & feelings you haven’t had time to complete are brought to the surface for finishing. Interrupted conversations, unsent emails, brainstorming ideas, unfinished emotions, aching muscles needing stretching all rise to the surface. Instead of falling asleep, you get going!

This is the opposite of what you want when you want to go to sleep and yet it is natural and best of all, if you relax and just let it happen, all of this will complete and then you can go to sleep.

I realized as I was reading this idea that this happens when we stop to meditate as well. We pause to get calm and instead, our minds race, our emotions well up and our aches and pains come to the fore. We want calm and we get chaos.

As soon as we realize that this is a natural part of resting, this processing of everything that needs to be unwound before we can relax, we can relax as it happens knowing that it will soon be over. If we fight it, getting upset that we’re not getting calm, we’ll be adding more fuel to the fire… we’ll be increasing the amount of thoughts and emotions that are happening and we’ll never relax!

Next time you pause to meditate, and your mind starts racing, notice if it is your mind unwinding and letting go of whatever it needs to let go of so that it can rest. If so, see if you can relax and allow that process happen. If you can, I imagine you will get calm much faster!

Enjoy your practice whatever happens!

How to Deal with Discomfort


Feeling too uncomfortable to practice?

That’s normal!

You don’t have to practice if you don’t want to!

And when you feel ready, take a few minutes and simply notice what comes up. Be present to whatever happens.

You may notice yourself…
not wanting to think or feel whatever you’re thinking or feeling. Keep noticing that. Stay with it. Stay present. Remember that whatever you are thinking or feeling will change eventually. EVERYTHING does. And if you stay present with it, and don’t try to change or fix it, it will naturally change (on it’s own) even faster.

You may notice yourself…
diving into the stories around why you are thinking and feeling those things. You may notice yourself adding fuel and building up the pain! Keep noticing that. Stay present, simply observing yourself doing that. It will change on it’s own eventually, especially if you stay present and just notice versus try to change or fix it. And if you do start changing or fixing it, simply notice THAT!

It is the noticing that is the key. The more you can simply notice, the more you allow whatever is here to be here. If you try to change or fix, inevitably you repress it and that locks it into place. Things that we’re repressing, we are holding and thus we can’t let go of them. If you can wait it out, simply observing, you will reach a point where you don’t need to repress any of it and your innate wisdom will surface with the answer for how to solve what ever is happening. It will not feel like repression or denial. You won’t feel that you need to make it stop. Instead, you will see the wisdom of what is happening, the undercurrents and the reasons and often the situation will reveal itself as useful and helpful… it will usually naturally end at that point.

Eventually, you may cultivate the willingness to notice whatever you are thinking and feeling… Not because you like it or want to be thinking or feeling whatever you are thinking and feeling… Simply because it is here. You will stay present because you will know the wisdom of this process.

Play with it and see if this works for you.

The Usefulness & Release of Denial

Denial is a natural, healthy part of human life. When a situation is overwhelming, our brain represses part of the experience for processing later. We do this so we can be functional at the moment.

This is how we can walk away from the burning car on a broken leg. Shock numbs us and we can perform in the moment, save ourselves & others… And not feel the agony of our broken leg until afterwards.

Mental and emotional pain are similar. We repress part of the information in the moment for processing later… when we’re safe.

When you are in a safe place, you can sit and be present with your pains.

Several things will happen. First, as you allow them to surface, the energy you were using to to hold them in place will be released. Your body and mind will relax the tension needed to hold them in.

Second, you will begin to experience them. They may seem HUGE as you let them come up. Or they may go numb. Or or or. Many things can happen. Stay present and notice what is happening. Be curious. Let the process take its own time and trust the wisdom of your system, of your Being. Stay present, aware, mindful.

Third, they will begin to release on their own. As you stop holding them in, they are free to go. The processing will take its own time, and they will dissipate naturally.

If you feel overwhelmed, get help. This may be too big for you to handle on your own in a healthy way. Lot’s of people can help.

Fourth, as it all completes, you will feel lighter. You will have freed yourself of needing to hold onto pain. Yay! Enjoy!

Your Relaxation Toolbox

(video:3:09) The holidays can be stressful!

How can you make them more relaxing so that you enjoy them to the fullest?

One thing that you can do it think about the things you like to do to relax & de-stress in everyday life… What kinds of things do you do that help you relax normally? Do you like to exercise? Do you have a cup of tea? Do you read, go for a walk, or play with your cat?

Now think about how you can you set yourself up to do those things over the holidays. How can you do those things wherever you are? Can you bring your running shoes or a few weights or exercise videos? Can you take your favorite tea and share it with other relatives, making it into a nice shared moment of relaxation together? Can you bring a great book or magazines? Can you plan daily walks, perhaps after big meals with the whole family or by yourself in the mornings to get out and enjoy the world waking up?

Whatever will work for you, set yourself up with a few things and create a Relaxation Toolbox to use every day and to pull out whenever things get a bit too hectic. You will appreciate it and so will your friends and family!

Prepare for relaxation and make your holidays bright!
Enjoy!,
Eléna

Cultivating Compassion

(video 4:59) The Science of Meditation Summit interview with Dr. Kelly McGonigal was all about compassion, her research and experience.

Compassion for others is an instinct, according to her research, as social animals we’re geared towards helping our community members relieve their suffering. This keeps our survival group strong.

Self-compassion is not instinctive. Instinctively we respond to our own suffering with stress: distress, shame, guilt, fight, fight, freeze, etc.

If we’re going to train compassion for self and others, she suggests that we do both at the same time. Cultivate compassion for others, practicing to improve that natural process, and also include self-compassion in the practice to build that as well.

Watch the video for a brief description of a compassion practice.

Enjoy!,
Elena
www.ElenaMariaFoucher.com

Mindfulness is Not Self-help

(video 4:12) I listened to the Science of Meditation Summit presentation by meditation teacher Susan Piver who said one of the myths about mindfulness is that it is a form of self-help. “It’s not,” she says, and after listening to her explaination, I totally agree.

Mindfulness as a concept is simply being present, aware of ourselves, and pure mindfulness practice is simply noticing ourselves. What ever we’re doing, thinking, feeling, we simply notice. We don’t try to change anything, we simply notice.

Self-help is another set of meditations, therapies and tools that we use to change what we notice. If, using mindfulness, we notice that we’re angry a lot and inappropriate with how we express it, we might take other steps to create healthier expressions of our anger. Now we’ve added self-help.

I find this distinction really useful for understanding the role of mindfulness and the role of self-help. Mindfulness is for being aware of what is happening. Self-help is for changing what is happening.