New Goal: 90 – 10

On top of the Rockies!  I just read this great idea of focusing 90% of the time on positive things and only 10% on negative things.

So all that time I spend fixing what’s wrong, would only take up  10% of my time.

And all the love and laughter would be the ENTIRE other 90%.

That’s a ratio worth living!

This really came home to me yesterday when I realized that this shadow work that I was doing didn’t have to be so depressing… I could actually ask myself to have fun with it. Fun looking at my deepest, darkest crud? Well why not?! I get to decide how I do things, where I focus my attention, where I focus my energies… whether I revel in the bright sides or lull myself asleep with the heavy darkness. So, I’m trying it and so far it’s much nicer. The dark is still dark and I’m reminded to not take it so seriously, reminded to keep my distance from it, that I am not it.

Then this 90 – 10 idea floated by and it felt like a great idea to live by and confirmation of my decision. Isn’t the Universe grand?

Thanks Universe. Thanks whomever wrote that idea down.

Enjoy!,

Elena

 

Acknowledging vs Cultivating Fear

Fear is a natural emotion and yet sometimes we have a hard time interacting with it in a healthy way. Unconscious, fear-based habits can be especially tough to break.

Here’s a simple method that helps me break fear patterns.

I’d love to know what you do to break your fear patterns.

Enjoy,
Elena

What kind of meditation should I do?

Trail MarkerWant to learn to meditate? Not sure where to begin? After 10 years of practicing and 4 years of teaching here are my suggestions. 

Most people are surprised when I tell them I quit meditating after two weeks of trying. I made a big mistake. I like to move, and for some odd-ball reason I decided to sit still and focus on my breath. I was terrible at it. I gave up in frustration, and it wasn’t until I was introduced to moving meditation a few days later that I began to discover how amazing it can be.

Now, I consider meditation my main power tool, my absolute best tool for transformation. It is with out doubt the single best thing that I do to realize the joy of being human. It’s that useful.

First, what is meditation?

For me, “meditation” refers to two main things: meditative practices and meditative states.

Simply, the practices are things you do to achieve the physical, mental, emotional, energetic and spiritual states.

There are thousands of practices, each suiting different kinds of people, and just as many states, each depending the skill level and goals of the practitioner.

Second, let’s look at the different kinds of practices.

I like to define each practice by what it focuses on. Almost all practices focus on breath, and then fold in an additional focus like a mantra (a word or words you repeat), an external object (a candle, an image of a flower, etc), mental visualizations (imagining yourself at relaxing places like the beach for instance), or  your movements (for moving meditations).

So, a really important question for you to answer is, what you would like to focus on?

Are you auditory and would enjoy saying/singing a word or phrase? Are you visual and prefer looking at things?  Do you have a strong imagination and enjoy visualizing?  Are you kinesthetic and like feeling the sensation of your body moving? Or do you want a combination of several of these things?

When you’re searching for a meditation to learn, look at different practices and determine the focus(es) of each. Then decide which one is most likely to naturally capture your attention. Decide what would you enjoy focusing on.

In the beginning, usually most challenging thing is the act of focusing at all, no matter what you choose to focus on. This is why it’s important to choose something that naturally captures your attention, something that you enjoy focusing on. Be kind to yourself and choose something you want to pay attention to!

There is a meditation out there that will interest you: singers can sing, poets can speak, painters can gaze, dreamers can dream, dancers can dance, etc. Find the artist in you and play. If you find the idea of play uninspiring, you just might be one of the few people who would enjoy starting out with a silent, sitting practice that focuses solely on your breath. Go for it!

Whatever it is, you can imagine that if you start by focusing on something that you like paying attention to, focusing will be that much easier. 

Country ParkThird, let’s think about the states you want to achieve.

There’re a wide range of goals to go for, all the way from stress reduction to uncovering divinity. Meditation has it’s roots in the metaphysical exploration of reality, and in the modern world you have the option of going as deep – or not – as you like. You can simply meditate for 3 breaths to lower your cortizol levels or you can spend the rest of your life in a cave realizing your divinity. It’s all being offered, so you’ll want to decide where on the continuum to start your exploration.

You can’t tell the goal of a practice by how it’s done, by the physical mechanics of it. That 3 breath stress reduction meditation can be the exact same practice used in the cave. The difference is in the intention. The intention will change how the practice is talked about, the words used in the instructions and most importantly where the practitioner is willing to go with it. The stress reduction practitioner doesn’t pay attention to the deeper effects, doesn’t cultivate them, and thus may not allow the practice to draw her deeper into herself. The cave dweller does those same 3 breaths, relaxes and pays attention to the ever subtler layers of subterranean information welling up inside her. Same physical practice, different intentions.

When you’re looking at a practice and wanting to determine its goal, notice how the practice is being talked about, what words are being used and what outcomes are listed. If the description doesn’t make the intention clear enough for you, read through the instructions themselves to see if they resonate for you. You can also look for the intention of whomever is presenting it by checking out the site it’s posted on,  reading more of the book it’s in, or asking the instructor.

Fourth, how do you stay motivated to meditate?

You can learn meditation from a book, an article, a video, an online course, an in-person course, etc, etc, etc. If you start searching online you’ll find many many practices that you can study.

Many people find it really motivating to do things with other people, so establishing your practice by doing it with others can be really beneficial. In the beginning, I recommend taking a class with other students and a live teacher (on or off-line). This is a great way to get any questions answered, discuss your experiences and get encouraged by other students, as well as helping you create a habit over time – at least for the length of the course! Alternately, you ask people if they want to be practice partners and meet regularly to do the practices in person or on-line or  exchange emails or texts regularly about your practices.

There are online courses available with live teachers and discussion forums where you can share your experiences and questions with other students. If you want to learn in person, look around and see what’s available in your area and go with the one that feels the best, i.e. you like
the people and the setting, which will translate into the most supportive environment for you.

DaVinci

Finally, transformation…

What ever meditation you choose, give your practice a bit of time, a chance to succeed.  In the beginning, even simple things like breathing can feel like a challenge! Like most things, it get’s easier with practice, so be patient.

These disciplines are life changing and will likely shake some things up for you. Find a trusted friend that’s willing to listen, or journal when you need to reflect on what’s happening for you.

Meditation is a power tool for transformation. At first you may feel like a two pound weakling wielding a sledge hammer. Be patient. Soon you’ll uncover your inner Da Vinci.

Enjoy your practice.

Toothbrush Meditations!

Toothbrush Meditations Power Tools for Relaxation

Hi guys!,

I’ve been busy! I’ve just launched the Toothbrush Meditations… 10 second meditations that you can do whenever you’re feeling stressed. They help you relax instantly, while you’re being productive doing other things, you  do a 10 second meditation and Voila!

They are a meditations that I’ve been doing for years… I wanted techniques that I can do anywhere, anytime and these are what I came up with for myself.

About 6 months ago, I decided that they were too good to keep to myself, so I’ve put them in a format that we can all share!

Check them out at ToothbrushMeditations.com.

And please let me know what you think – on the page, the text, as well as the meditations themselves! Your feedback is very, very welcome! If you give me any feedback I’ll send you a free bonus meditation in thanks.

With Joy,
Elena

3 Steps to Empowerment, Step 3: Empowerment

Once we can see and accept ourselves, we begin to have choices about where to put our energy. Do we keep doing what we’re doing, or do we focus our energy on something else?
The empowerment to make this choice comes from the clarity of awareness: knowing what we’re doing, and the openness of acceptance: allowing whatever we’re thinking, feeling, doing to be here.  Because we’re open to our thoughts, feelings and actions (and not denying, resisting, and contracting around them) they can shift and change and thus we are in an empowered space… we have choices about where to focus our energy.
There are many ways to reach this stage of empowerment, of being in a space to make real choices about what we’re doing… to go from fine to fantastic…
I’d love to know what you’ve done in your life to get to this place of fully aware choices?
Enjoy,
Elena
theJoyLab.net

3 Steps to Empowerment, Step 2: Acceptance

As we become aware of ourselves, our daily thoughts, feelings and actions, then we can start to accept them… most will be easy to accept and some will take a bit of compassion. For some we will want to step out of denial and out of resistance and into compassion, non-judgement and acceptance.
Why might this be useful?
If we want to go from fine to fantastic then we want to accept all of ourselves… step out of denial and resistance of the parts that we feel we don’t like and into acceptance. Then we start to know the truth of how fantastic we already are!
Can you accept all of you?
Some days I’m better than others… I’d love to know what kinds of things you’ve done that helped you to accept parts that were “unacceptable”?
Enjoy,
Elena
theJoyLab.net

3 Steps to Empowerment, Step 1: Awareness

If we want to go from fine to fantastic, we need to be aware of what we’re doing so that we know what to change… what our thoughts, feelings and actions are on a daily basis.

This can be as simple as noticing our body movements for a few minutes, or really noticing our surroundings several times a day. Cultivating awareness can be simple, easy and fun!

And the results are life changing, life affirming and lovely.

I’d enjoy knowing what you have noticed about your self or your environment through your own awareness?

Enjoy,
Elena
theJoyLab.net

 

Stop Taking Spiritual Development So Seriously!

(video) Life is a balance. Not enough focus and our energy is too dilute. Too much focus and we’re constricted and can’t move…

And sometimes it helps to just remember not to take our spiritual development so seriously!
Does it help you to relax in the middle of chaos?
Enjoy,
Elena
theJoyLab.net

Watching Emotions

(video) Emotions seem to run our lives!

How we feel about something seems to control how we interact with it. For instance: I’m mad at someone, so I’m mean to them.

What if you could develop a place in yourself to watch that emotion and make choices about how to interact?
How do you “step out of” or witness your emotions?
Enjoy,
Elena
theJoyLab.net