Hello Beautiful Souls,
During my recent retreat, I revived a practice from my time in Thailand, Gazing. Gazing is quite simple to describe. You simply look into the eyes of another for the duration of the practice. Breathe and notice what arrises. That’s it.
Sounds simple, right?
It is. And it’s one of the most profound practices that I know of, mainly because at first it’s INCREDIBLY confronting. And once you get past that, things get deep fast.
Since I was on retreat alone, I did this in a mirror, gazing into my own eyes. This is a bit easier, and after years of doing it, not nearly as confronting as gazing with another, yet the depth is still here.
For me this is where the body, the mind, the emotions, and all of the rest of me show up and begin melting together.
I literally begin to SEE (if we can call what happens seeing) that I am more than body, more than mind, more than emotions, more than unconscious… I’m a multi-dimensional, multi-density whole. All is here in one ‘place,’ overlapping, interlacing… overlacing, interlapping… intertwined. Here.
To Practice Gazing
If you’d like to do this, start by deciding how long you’re going to do the practice. (Start with 2-5 minutes if you’ve never done it before. A mere 20 minutes blows my head off in the best way possible.)
I prefer doing this in plenty of natural light, because when things get weird visually, sunlight is comforting.
With Two: sit or stand so that you can see each other’s eyes clearly, and far enough away that you both have ample personal space.
Alone: Stand or sit in front of a mirror that you don’t have to hold, close enough that you can see your eyes clearly.
Gaze into the eyes of the other or your own. You might be able to see both of the others’ eyes at once, or just see one eye at a time. Do your best to not get too concerned about this, as both situations are fine, including changing around what you’re looking at. This will settle itself out during each practice.
Allow yourself to blink naturally, and relax your eyes as much as possible while still looking at the other eye(s).
Stay here. Stay present. Notice what arrises.
The biggest challenge of this practice is, Can you stay here (present) and keep gazing through the discomfort?
Can you stay through what your body reads as confrontation (looking directly into someone’s eyes for a long period)? The reflex to fight, freeze or flee? The conflicted social feelings? The strained, nervous laughter? The ‘get me out of here!,’ even though all you’re doing is consensually looking at someone’s eyes? Maybe even your own?! It’s a bit nuts how confronting this is at first blush.
As you get past that stage, relax your physical eyes even as things get visually wacky. Things will go black and white, transparent, wavy, etc.. All kinds of visual ‘anomalies’ will happen. (One notable time, my friend’s face was replaced by a long series of other faces… men, women, children, young and old, modern and ancient… past lives? ancestors? my imagination? her imagination? I have no idea.) If you freak out at any of this and force your eyes back to ‘normal’ focus, that’s fine. Simply breathe, relax again and see if you can stay a little longer through the discomfort.
As you are able to, the payoffs are huge.
First, your capacity to be present for longer and longer periods will build.
More and more heartbeats will fully register in your entire being.
Welcome home.
Second, your conscious awareness of the wholeness that you are will deepen, become more and more subtle, more and more profound, more and more simple and whole.
Staying Through the Discomfort
Even if you don’t do Gazing, the practice of staying through the discomfort has served me immensely these past weeks. On some level, this has become my constant daily practice, my mantra of sorts, “Can I stay (fully present) through this discomfort?”
This offers it’s own soft wholeness. Not nearly as confronting. Gently allowing.
My suggestion, should you like to do it, is to practice staying lovingly present through discomfort, accepting whatever arrises within you as a welcome expression of who you are in the moment. If nothing else, you’re more present to who you are right now, and that is a beautiful place to be. It is where most healing starts, with the wholeness that we already are.
May that be Helpful,
Elena