What if whenever we’re uncomfortable, we stay present with our discomfort vs running away from it? Instead of self soothing with our devices, food, shopping, helping someone else, etc., we stay with the discomfort and breathe through it?

It’s a big ask. And most of us don’t. Most of us self reach for a distraction.

I’m sitting in an airport, a land of self soothing. In arms reach, I can buy all kinds of luxury goods, expensive food, silly snacks, and any number of diversions for my flight… if it will placate my senses it’s probably here in bright, glittery lights.

Why airports? My husband, a professional traveler, astutely pointed out, that the fear of dying is very present here. The fear of falling from the sky, of plunging to a watery death or crash landing in a fiery ball is not something most of us want to face. Namely, we don’t want to feel that fear.

The solution? Consumerism. Gucci bags and macaroons at every turn. (Hello, Paris!)

I think it was Pemma Chodron who first introduced me to the practice of “staying through the discomfort.’ Of facing our discomforts, our fears, our shames, our anxieties, versus distracting ourselves from them. The idea here is simple. Staying present to ourself allows us to nurture ourself and help us navigate the discomfort from a place of acceptance and care and not ignorance and abandonment. The former allows us to grow and evolve the latter keeps us in a never ending cycle of discomfort.

When I get uncomfortable, if I’m conscious enough to notice it, I start focusing on calming my breathing (slowly lengthening my exhale) and allowing myself to feel the discomfort as much as I can. Overtime, the same situation is met with less and less discomfort. And fewer macaroons. (Though I do recommend heading straight for the raspberry or pistachio ones if you’re in dire need!)

Happy Breathing,
Elena