How to Stick to Your New Year’s Resolutions

(video: 2:45) Having a hard time sticking to your New Year’s resolutions?
You want to start running, but you can’t get out of bed? You want to practice meditation everyday after lunch, but you’re just too busy?

The trick is to remember why you want to do it… BEFORE you do it. Laying there in bed, motivate yourself by remembering how good you feel when you exercise. Let tuer good feeling motivate you to get up and go running! Sitting at lunch, remember how calm and collected you feel when you meditate. Let that sense of peace motivate you to take a few minutes before you rush off.

You know you’ll feel better! Remember that feeling before you do things and mer that good feeling be your motivation!

Happy New Year!

What I Do in Crisis (6): Ujjayi Breath

(Video: 4:57min) Ujjaya breathing is a yoga breath that is fun to do because you can actually hear your self breathing! This is great for people who like to focus on sound.

Watch the video for instructions if you want them, and enjoy using this tool during stressful situations. I use it when I’m stressed and I want something else to listen to for a moment besides my speeding train of difficult thoughts.

Using ujjayi breathing a great way to stay engaged in the moment and to give myself some perspective… there are other things in my life right now than this upsetting thing that is happening… like my noisy breath!

What I Do in Crisis (1): A Mindful Breath

(Video: 3:45 min) I spent some quality time this summer understanding what helps me when I’m really stressed.

This is the first in a series on what worked during those crisis moments. These tools are what I used when I needed to do something to gain composure versus blowup or meltdown.

This first one, a mindful breath, is a great tool for giving me some perspective without requiring too much of my already overtaxed system.

Where Is My Center – Mindfulness Practice

MME Album Art(5:22) I like to use this mindfulness practice when I am out in the world and I want to play… play with balance and play with getting calm and clear.

It is a standing practice, which makes it good fun in elevators, on escalators or standing waiting for the train or the light to change.

It can also be done sitting, which is perfect for getting calm and clear at my desk or in meetings!

Mindfulness Practice: Where Is My Center? (Standing or Sitting)

  1. Start by becoming present: bring your attention into the space you’re in by looking at what you can see right now.
  2. Close your eyes, or lower them so they are 3/4 closed, and gently shift your attention to your breathing. Notice your breath moving in and out of your body right now. Be curious about your breath. “How am I breathing right now?”
  3. Shift your attention to your feet and notice the natural weight of your body pressing down.
    1. Begin to notice if your weight is more on one foot than the other. With small, subtle movements, rock from side to side to feel where your weight is, and find the place in the middle where your weight is evenly distributed between both feet.
    2. Now notice the fronts and back of your feet, the balls of your toes and your heels, and notice where you weight is from front to back. With small subtle movements, rock forwards and backwards and find the place where your weight is evenly distributed front to back.
    3. Notice how it feels to be standing with your weight evenly distributed from side to side and front to back.
  4. Begin to end by shifting your attention back to your breath, noticing it moving in and out of your body.
  5. When you’re ready to end, open your eyes noticing the space that you’re in right now.

When your mind wanders, as it inevitably will, gently bring it back first to presence by noticing your breath and the quiet between thoughts, and then re-focus on the heart of the practice.

 

 

To Download:

Click on the Download button below.

If it does not download automatically:

  1. A new window will open with an audio player (like the player above).
  2. Right click on the player and choose “Download File” or “Download Video”
  3. iPhone users will want to first copy the meditation into iTunes (on your computer) and then sync with your iPhone.

Note that you are welcome to download and share this files as many times as you like provided you do so in it’s entirety and it is used for personal or educational uses only (no commercial uses).

 

Portable Practice 2: Simple Body Scan (Guided Meditation)

MME Album Art

Welcome to the Mindfulness Made Easy Portable Practices. In the Mindfulness Made Easy course I teach simple and quick practices that you can do anywhere and anytime.

This is the second portable practice that I teach in the course, a Simple Body Scan. There are many, many body scans out there, so you may have done something like this before. This is a quick one that you can do anywhere, anytime.

It’s your’s to listen to, download and share as many times as you like for personal, non-commercial use.

Enjoy!,

Elena

 

To Listen: Click play to listen on this page.

 

To Download:

Click on the Download button below

If it does not download automatically:

  1. A new window will open with an audio player (like the player above).
  2. Right click on the player and choose “Download File” or “Download Video”
  3. iPhone users will want to first copy the meditation into iTunes (on your computer) and then sync with your iPhone.

 

Portable Practice 1: Three Breaths Meditation

MME Album Art

Welcome to the Mindfulness Made Easy Portable Practices.

In the Mindfulness Made Easy course I teach quick and easy practices that you can do anywhere and anytime.

This is the first portable practice that I teach in the course. It’s called Three Breaths.

It’s your’s to listen to, download and share as many times as you like for personal, non-commercial use only.

Enjoy!,

Elena

 

To Listen: Click play to listen on this page.

 

To Download:

Click on the Download button below

If it does not download automatically:

  1. A new window will open with an audio player (like the player above).
  2. Right click on the player and choose “Download File” or “Download Video”
  3. iPhone users will want to first copy the meditation into iTunes (on your computer) and then sync with your iPhone.

 

Spice Up Your Meditation Practice!

Spice Up Your Practice!-3Want to spice up your meditation practice?
Add one of these simple focuses to your practice to spices things up a bit. They help keep your mind interested (focused and willing)… and ultimately keep us motivated to practice!

1. Counting vs not counting breath: Exploring the advantages and challenges of both. Noticing what happens when you count vs when you don’t. (The bigger picture: This isn’t about one option being better, it’s more about noticing the differences between the two and playing with the effects.)

2. Noticing the variety of sensations in your body at any given time: Noticing different qualities of sensations in your foot like hot, cold, itching, tingling, etc. Next time you can notice all the different sensations in your foot again and notice how things have changed – to compare and contrast, or switch to noticing your leg or face or arm, etc. (The bigger picture: Focusing attention on noticing the different sensations increases your ability to sense them… This gets quite interesting as there are a wide array of ‘subtle’ sensations that most of us are not even aware of at first.)

3. Relaxing: Can you relax your face when you meditate? (Or your foot, or leg…). This is to play with consciously relaxing a part of the body and noticing what happens. (The bigger picture: This also helps you notice how tense you are – or aren’t – and to let go of unnecessary muscular tension that drains your energy! Often we discover that there are areas that we habitually hold unnecessary tension and we can begin to change that habit by relaxing those areas every day.)4. How big or small of an area can you pay attention to? Can you notice your whole foot for 3 breaths? Only 1 toe? (The bigger picture: This helps you break out of any patterns you’ve developed during your life or your practice that are restricting your ability to focus on larger or smaller areas/things.)

5. Length of focus: Can you stay present for one entire breath (inhale+exhale) with out losing focus and getting lost in thought? Two? Two and a half? Three? Can you build up to three and a half? Four? Four and a half? Ten?
(The bigger picture: This is to consciously lengthen the amount of time you’re able to stay present continuously. This isn’t about increasing to a specific number of breaths or certain length of time, it’s about exercising the muscle of focus and thereby learning and remembering how to grow and change and evolve… as we play with lengthening our focus we teach ourselves how, how to get better. This is not about numbers, it’s about getting to know ourselves and learning how to learn.)

 

Do You Have to Meditate to Be Present?

TheThreeMonksMy dear friend Christie and I met a monk in Thailand who said to us, “You can meditate anywhere. You don’t need to be in the meditation hall.” It was quite profound at the time because we were looking for a place to meditate. It hadn’t occurred to us to meditate on the sidewalk. I figured that if he said that it was ok, it would work.

I haven’t looked back since.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about meditation versus presence… If the point of meditation is to practice being present, to practice noticing what is happening right now, do I have to meditate to be present?

In other words, if meditation helps us focus on the present moment, if it helps us focus on something that is happening right now, do I have to meditate in order to do it?

Or really simply: Can I be present with out meditating?

YES, YES and YES!

In any given moment of my life I can take a moment to notice where I am and what I am doing. In fact I do this throughout my day. So do you. You do this when you pause for a brief moment and check to see if you have your keys when you leave. You do this when you pause to check if there is enough petrol in your car or money on your metro card. You do this when you look around at who is at work today. You do this when you glance at yourself in the mirror to check your hair or make sure that you’ve gotten your hands clean.

You do this multiple times a day.

You just don’t think about it this way.

And you can if you like.

As you go through your day, you can start to notice those moments when you’re naturally present.

You can also choose to be present for moments at random if you like. You can pause on the street corner and take a look at where you are. Even if you’ve been there a thousand times, it will be unique in this moment. It will never be the same way again. Something will have changed by the time you get there next. Can you see the differences? Are the sounds different? Do you feel different standing there? Things will change.

Of course, now I’ve created a practice out of it.

You don’t need to be this formal about it. You don’t have to turn it into a game or a practice. You can just pause and notice the street corner… And then go on your way.

Another friend of mine, Esther, introduced me to Kitchen Yoga. She said you could practice yoga in your kitchen while bending over to get a pan from under the counter, stretching up to get a plate, or twisting around to open the fridge.

I’m suggesting a similar kind of “non-practice” practice.

I’m going to start calling it Sidewalk Presence.

Yep, I can be present anywhere and anytime. I just notice where I am in this moment and voila, I’m present. And so can you. No practice needed.

Enjoy.

Creative Commons Photo License

Learning to Love Myself – Step 1

learning to love myselfI’m teaching myself to love myself. Actually, I’m sort of conning myself into it by constantly telling myself that I love myself. Several people have suggested this as a way to rewire the brain and the subconscious. Matt Kahn gives a pretty compelling argument here as does Kamal Ravikant in his book, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It. I am beginning to realize that it does. At least a happy life does.

The first time I listened to the Matt Kahn video many months ago, I foolishly decided to try out repeating “I love myself” on a long training run. There I am running along in a beautiful country park, telling this to myself, and suddenly I start feeling terrible. I didn’t make any connection between the phrase and the discomfort, so I keep repeating “I love you” and just slow my pace down a bit. I feel worse and worse until finally I have to stop running, because I feel like I’m going to vomit. I’m standing there, looking down at a beautiful reservoir, doubled over in pain and I realize that actually there is nothing wrong with my physical body. I am just feeling nausious, not actually physically sick. The light turns on.

Saying this one little phrase to myself over and over dredged up a lot of crud. I walked a lot that day, and did a lot of clearing. Lots of breathing out nastiness and letting go. I didn’t think about the practice much after that until recently when I read the book by Ravikant.

I’ve decide this time to stick with the practice until I have it wired into my brain, until it is the new default thought loop that plays over and over in my head. It is a lot better than all of the other things that are in here!

As I’m getting into it things are changing, of course. Yesterday, I started realizing that I don’t generally know what I want. Like pretty much EVER.

That’s a stunning realization.

No vomiting yet.

 

What kind of meditation should I do?

Trail MarkerWant to learn to meditate? Not sure where to begin? After 10 years of practicing and 4 years of teaching here are my suggestions. 

Most people are surprised when I tell them I quit meditating after two weeks of trying. I made a big mistake. I like to move, and for some odd-ball reason I decided to sit still and focus on my breath. I was terrible at it. I gave up in frustration, and it wasn’t until I was introduced to moving meditation a few days later that I began to discover how amazing it can be.

Now, I consider meditation my main power tool, my absolute best tool for transformation. It is with out doubt the single best thing that I do to realize the joy of being human. It’s that useful.

First, what is meditation?

For me, “meditation” refers to two main things: meditative practices and meditative states.

Simply, the practices are things you do to achieve the physical, mental, emotional, energetic and spiritual states.

There are thousands of practices, each suiting different kinds of people, and just as many states, each depending the skill level and goals of the practitioner.

Second, let’s look at the different kinds of practices.

I like to define each practice by what it focuses on. Almost all practices focus on breath, and then fold in an additional focus like a mantra (a word or words you repeat), an external object (a candle, an image of a flower, etc), mental visualizations (imagining yourself at relaxing places like the beach for instance), or  your movements (for moving meditations).

So, a really important question for you to answer is, what you would like to focus on?

Are you auditory and would enjoy saying/singing a word or phrase? Are you visual and prefer looking at things?  Do you have a strong imagination and enjoy visualizing?  Are you kinesthetic and like feeling the sensation of your body moving? Or do you want a combination of several of these things?

When you’re searching for a meditation to learn, look at different practices and determine the focus(es) of each. Then decide which one is most likely to naturally capture your attention. Decide what would you enjoy focusing on.

In the beginning, usually most challenging thing is the act of focusing at all, no matter what you choose to focus on. This is why it’s important to choose something that naturally captures your attention, something that you enjoy focusing on. Be kind to yourself and choose something you want to pay attention to!

There is a meditation out there that will interest you: singers can sing, poets can speak, painters can gaze, dreamers can dream, dancers can dance, etc. Find the artist in you and play. If you find the idea of play uninspiring, you just might be one of the few people who would enjoy starting out with a silent, sitting practice that focuses solely on your breath. Go for it!

Whatever it is, you can imagine that if you start by focusing on something that you like paying attention to, focusing will be that much easier. 

Country ParkThird, let’s think about the states you want to achieve.

There’re a wide range of goals to go for, all the way from stress reduction to uncovering divinity. Meditation has it’s roots in the metaphysical exploration of reality, and in the modern world you have the option of going as deep – or not – as you like. You can simply meditate for 3 breaths to lower your cortizol levels or you can spend the rest of your life in a cave realizing your divinity. It’s all being offered, so you’ll want to decide where on the continuum to start your exploration.

You can’t tell the goal of a practice by how it’s done, by the physical mechanics of it. That 3 breath stress reduction meditation can be the exact same practice used in the cave. The difference is in the intention. The intention will change how the practice is talked about, the words used in the instructions and most importantly where the practitioner is willing to go with it. The stress reduction practitioner doesn’t pay attention to the deeper effects, doesn’t cultivate them, and thus may not allow the practice to draw her deeper into herself. The cave dweller does those same 3 breaths, relaxes and pays attention to the ever subtler layers of subterranean information welling up inside her. Same physical practice, different intentions.

When you’re looking at a practice and wanting to determine its goal, notice how the practice is being talked about, what words are being used and what outcomes are listed. If the description doesn’t make the intention clear enough for you, read through the instructions themselves to see if they resonate for you. You can also look for the intention of whomever is presenting it by checking out the site it’s posted on,  reading more of the book it’s in, or asking the instructor.

Fourth, how do you stay motivated to meditate?

You can learn meditation from a book, an article, a video, an online course, an in-person course, etc, etc, etc. If you start searching online you’ll find many many practices that you can study.

Many people find it really motivating to do things with other people, so establishing your practice by doing it with others can be really beneficial. In the beginning, I recommend taking a class with other students and a live teacher (on or off-line). This is a great way to get any questions answered, discuss your experiences and get encouraged by other students, as well as helping you create a habit over time – at least for the length of the course! Alternately, you ask people if they want to be practice partners and meet regularly to do the practices in person or on-line or  exchange emails or texts regularly about your practices.

There are online courses available with live teachers and discussion forums where you can share your experiences and questions with other students. If you want to learn in person, look around and see what’s available in your area and go with the one that feels the best, i.e. you like
the people and the setting, which will translate into the most supportive environment for you.

DaVinci

Finally, transformation…

What ever meditation you choose, give your practice a bit of time, a chance to succeed.  In the beginning, even simple things like breathing can feel like a challenge! Like most things, it get’s easier with practice, so be patient.

These disciplines are life changing and will likely shake some things up for you. Find a trusted friend that’s willing to listen, or journal when you need to reflect on what’s happening for you.

Meditation is a power tool for transformation. At first you may feel like a two pound weakling wielding a sledge hammer. Be patient. Soon you’ll uncover your inner Da Vinci.

Enjoy your practice.